Caiman, Porcupine and Tears

Wednesday, April 1 - Miercoles

I have so much to write and so much to tell you.  Since I’ve learned to write authentically, I am not going back to write each day as it occurred.  I’ve been crying today.  I’m very sad about leaving.  I don’t want to leave.  This is a little amazing to me, as I am usually ready to leave most places as schedule.  Today, I do not want to leave.  Today, I can’t imagine leaving in 10 days.  Can’t imagine carrying through the things I have ahead of me without the greenery that currently surrounds me.  Can’t imagine the beach without the rain forest or returning to the condo that I just had to have.   The desire for something different is what causes the pain - not the actual leaving.  The sadness recedes when I realize I don’t have to leave.  Which is true, I don’t have to leave.  I have managed to set up my life in such a way that I really don’t have to leave.  Yes, I have promises and contracts to uphold - but in all reality I could easily be released from both.   I have grown to love the people who work for the hotel, to rely on them and yes, to need them.  I also appreciate them and relish each moment even if I have no idea what they are saying most of the time.  I do not feel isolated.  I feel loved,   accepted and appreciated.  As I walk through the property, drive through the rain forest, swim in the cascades I can’t imagine leaving.  Here it’s easy to feel at one with nature, feel apart of something wonderful and miraculous.  It’s an easier way of life.  One without attachments to possessions or appearance.  One that encourages me to breath and just exist.  For existing is sufficient.  Perhaps I am crying for the part of me I seem to loose each time I leave.  The part that tries to keep up with the next guy, belong to the community, be a productive member of society seems to take over the part that knows existing, being present and living life is really what it is all about.  It doesn’t matter if I fit in, dress right, get married, have a boyfriend, drive a nice car, have money to retire.  All that matters is that I remain present in each moment and do the next right thing.  Ah, the next right thing.  So simple and yet so profound.  What is the next right thing?  How do we know?  Why is that concept so difficult to grasp?  

Eva arrived on Saturday and we fell into each other’s arms.  Eva and I spend quality time together.  The quantity may not be large - but the quality is fantastic.  The last time I saw her was in December 2007 at a yoga event.  It seems the only times we see each other are yoga events - teacher training in 2001, advanced teacher training in 2003, continuing education for yoga teachers in 2007.  This is our first visit that involves yoga - we are both teaching - but isn’t consumed by yoga.  Despite traveling since 11:30 p.m. Friday night - she is not exhausted.  She is present.  We catch up, talk, I show her the place and her energy supports me while I deal with the issues newly presented by the hotel.  Ah, that seems so long ago.  In actuality is was only 4 days and the issues were truly difficult.  Again, it was my attachment to the yoga studio that caused most of the angst.  Followed closely by the hotel’s blatant violation of our contract.  Once I was able to let that go - the energy around the situation seemed less charged.  

I spent Saturday morning, before Eva arrived on the zip line with Diego.  Remember I mentioned I wanted to learn to walk off the platform and fly upside down alone?  Well, Joaquin arranged for a private practice session for me.  Diego and I drove out to the canopy.  I learned how to put on my own harness, safely attach myself to the cables and walk off the platform.  I wasn’t able to fly upside down by myself, as I wasn’t ready yet.  I need a little more practice.  So, I flew upside down with Diego by placing my knees on his hips and letting go with my hands.  Then, Diego strapped a harness around my chest and I flew like superman, arms out at my sides, legs behind.  Very liberating.  After we completed all 8 lines, we walked back for the jeep.  I jumped out of the jeep to fetch the harness’ and slipped on a step - cutting my leg.  I had made it through the whole season, with all of my skin in tact.  Funny, every year I injure myself and every year the injury becomes infected.  This year is no exception.  I have a little infection surrounding my cut and am waiting for hydrogen peroxide to clean it out.  

I started teaching my workshop “The 12-Steps of Yoga”.  Out of 8 participants - 6 drink alcohol.  They are not in recovery.  Four participants are here learning skills to take back to their work place.  Two are here learning how to manage their stress and 2 are actually in recovery.  At first I was amazed and confused.  I re-read the course description and it clearly indicates recovery - well, as clearly as it is possible to reference an anonymous program.  Then, as the workshop progressed, I realized the skills I teach are applicable to all and this was confirmed in our sharing circle on Monday evening.  Each participant has had huge shifts, I have shifted as well.  That is one of the most fabulous gifts of carrying the message, teaching a workshop, living authentically - everyone shifts.  

The caiman, the one who has kept me company the past 3 seasons and wasn’t very visible this season has died.  I saw the staff carrying him out of the lagoon on Monday.  It was very sad to see this large, majestic reptile dead.  Curiosity got the better of me and I watched with interest as they carried him past.  His mouth was open and he appeared to have wire, brush or sticks all around his mouth, his eyes were vacant and from their appearance it looked like he had been dead for some time.  As soon as I saw this I wished I had turned away.  But I remained fixed, continuing to watch, seeing his underbelly, his penis and the area surrounding the penis followed by his very large tail.  I couldn’t get the thought of the dead caiman out of my head.  I wondered if he was ill and perhaps that’s why I hadn’t seen him this season.  I wondered if the energy work I did on a friend caused his death as I sent the energy to the caiman before I remembered to turn it into something beneficial.  I started looking for a dead turtle as I also sent some energy to the turtle.  I thought about it often.  Then, yesterday I learned that the night guards had found a porcupine in the ceiling of the reception area.  They carried the porcupine to the lagoon thinking the caiman would eat him.  Well, the caiman did try to eat the porcupine.  Apparently it was the porcupine quills that killed the caiman.  The porcupine returned to the ceiling of reception and now the area smells like onions.  Yes, onions.  Apparently porcupines smell like onions.  I don’t really notice the smell, but apparently others do because the hotel has posted a sign indicating that the strong onion smell is due to the porcupine living in the roof.    

Today, I joined the group for the full day tour.  This time, I wisely chose to walk.  I arrived  at the zip line earlier than the horseback riders and watched as they dismounted.  I learned that no one, except the Costa Ricans, appear graceful during dismount and everyone walks strangely upon dismounting.  I flew through the zip lines, going upside down with Pistolo.  He is smaller than Diego - so I easily and with pleasure wrapped my legs around his waist, let go with my hands and flew completely extended upside down through the rain forest.  Eva and I spent time talking and catching up while swimming in the cascades and before I knew it, it was time to return.  I missed the ride with the people who were going rafting - so I rode back with the staff.  I sat in the back of the truck, surrounded by 6 staff members easily bantering with each other.  I stared out the window at the passing greenery, marveled at the diversity of trees and tried not to cry.

Shaking

Okay, I think we just had an earthquake.  I'm sitting in my bed (there aren't any chairs in the room) and the bed starts shaking.  Since I'm the only one in it - it's not me causing the shaking.  As I'm about to blame the new person who just arrived three doors down, I realize "Hey, that's not possible".  I sit, feel and watch the bed shake, wondering if I should run outside or just stay still.  It's kind of strange - because you expect earthquakes to be accompanied by noise.  Which I'm sure they are closer to the source.  This was just shaking without the noise - for maybe 45 seconds.  It's over, we're fine.  

Toucans

Thursday, March 26 - Jueves

Okay, Toucans still excite me.  I had the opportunity to view them while teaching the morning yoga class.  Apparently I was just tired yesterday, not complacent.  I still love being here and I’m still entertaining the thought of moving here.  Time will tell.  I’m a booked back in the states until at least November.  I have ideas about what I would like to do with my time after that, but every time I make plans...well, I’ll just have to stay in the present and see what happens. 

Dia Libre

Wednesday, March 25 - Miercoles

Dia Libre!!!  Wow!  You know you are becoming complacent when a Toucan flys within 10 feet of your face and you don’t have any reaction!  That just happened to me and I failed to get excited.  Perhaps I’m just tired.  This is my first day off in two weeks.  I still worked this morning, spoke to my boss, finished adding missing information to the books, coordinated travel and organized the information for the final week.  Lately, that work is easy - being present with the participants and dealing with the “behind the scenes” issues are draining.  I also had a close encounter with a hummingbird on my terrace as I was practicing yoga.  I looked up to find him hovering around the light bulb, screens and door looking for water or nectar.  Then he went on his way.  After lunch, I stood within four feet of a bascalist lizzard (probably spelled wrong, also known as the Jesus Christ lizzard because it can walk on water).  We both just stood there looking at each other.  I inched closer and closer - he stood his ground.  Finally, I gave up and walked away, he was still standing there.   I guess it was my day for animal encounters.  Perhaps the caimen will make an appearance this evening.  I’ve heard him walk into the lagoon behind my room for the past several nights.  Given my experiences today - maybe he’ll let me see him.  

The participants were very cute this morning.  My growling stomach resulted in poor timing and I ended up in the lobby while all of the participants were gathered there for their full day of adventure.  Luckily, on Sunday,  I had asked each of them to just wave if they saw me on my day off - no speaking required.  As I was talking to one of the staff, a participant stood in my peripheral vision - smiling and waving.  When I turned to wave, I had no choice but to smile at this 60 year old man standing there waving.   

I spent the rest of the morning at the pool, basking in the peacefulness of having the whole hotel to myself.   I had a  delicious lunch of salad, french fries, and trout grilled with garlic, while I talked to the staff and then retreated to my room to continue basking in the peacefulness of alone time. 

Arnica, LaPlaya and Straight Hair

Monday - March 23 - Lunes

I taught the morning yoga class, gathered the group together and escorted them to the coaster for the Boat Tour and left the property by myself in Adrian’s car.   Ahh...true alone time, all alone in a vehicle.  I pulled the soft top back and soaked up the sun while listening to mellow Spanish music as I drove across the country.  At 10 a.m. the roads are relatively clear.  Everything seems brighter - the colors of the landscape, the roadside stands, everything.  I actually found myself thinking ‘I could live here’ and playing that out in my mind.  I am very relaxed and comfortable in Costa Rica.  The open air and beautiful countryside add to the feeling of peacefulness.  During the drive I passed a multitude of red taxi’s all gathered near a gas station.  It was a beautiful site  and I wished I had a camera.  I also knew it meant something was up - perhaps a meeting, after all we just had a meeting of tractor trailer owners at the hotel yesterday - perhaps today was the day for the taxi drivers to meet.  I made a note of it and asked Sherri about it when I arrived in Pocora.  She explained they were striking.  It looked like a rather peaceful protest and I hope it remained that way, since there is only one road that connects Pocora with Horquetas.  I needed to return to Horquetas tonight, as JoElla was still at the hotel, scheduled to leave early Tuesday morning.   We proceeded to discuss the reasons for the strike as we walked to Jackeline’s for my hair straightening appointment.  

I enjoy being with Jackeline.  Our communication flows despite the language barrier.  She managed to pick up the straightening cream as well as the product for shine.  Sherri and Jackeline talk, with Sherri translating for me when necessary.  I sit and soak in the culture basking in the feeling of acceptance and belonging.  Jackeline applied the straightening cream to my hair, combed it on section by section.  Once the entire head of hair was coated with straightening cream, we checked our watches and timed the 20 minutes.  She told me to close my eyes while she rinsed out the product - but I didn’t understand.  So she showed me, by tightly closing her eyes and she repeated her statement slowly in Spanish.  We laughed.  I bent over the sink, closed my eyes and she rinsed out the product.  When it was time to stand up, I had to keep my eyes closed, because there was water around my eyes.  She kept asking me to open them and if it burned, but I found it difficult to communicate in Spanish with my eyes closed.  Finally I had to yell in English to Sherri in the next room to help with the translation.  Of course everyone got a kick out of the fact that I couldn’t speak with my eyes closed.  Jackeline combed in the neutralizer and we all sat and talked. Sherri explaining in English and Spanish - that I am lost without my eyes - I can’t communicate because I need to see to talk.  We all laughed some more.  It seems Jackeline is growing black beans.  I found this totally amazing, since this is not something we tend to grow in our gardens back home.  Sherri explained that with the nature of the economy everyone is growing whatever they can on their land, trying to cut costs.  Fifteen minutes later, we returned to the sink to rinse the neutralizer out.  This time I knew enough to close my eyes.  Then Jackeline spent 10 minutes combing my hair.  Giving Sherri instructions to translate for me:  Don’t do anything to your hair for 24 hours, don’t wear a clip or tie it back for a few days, comb it several times a day, don’t use your fingers as a comb.  I loved the attention, concern and kindness.  I could have sat there for hours letting Jackeline comb my hair.  When she finished, I expected to leave, but Jackeline had other plans.  She wanted to give me a manicure.  My last manicure didn’t last very long due to rafting and the beach.  The pedicure held up but the manicure was destroyed.  The last manicure and pedicure were so decorative and very distracting for my students as well as myself.  I asked for one color, no design.  Jackeline was insulted and wanted to know why I was in such a hurry.  I explained I wasn’t in a hurry but the designs and colors were distracting for my students.  Sensing that I insulted her, I agreed to designs as long as we used light colors.  When we finally left I had a manicure complete with a flower design on every nail that Jackeline thought coordinated well with my pedicure.  I walked out a couple of hours later with straight hair and a fresh manicure.  The entire process, including two boxes of product (I wanted one to give one to Aura or take it back to the states), a large bottle of shine serum, application and a manicure cost 15000 colones, $ 28 dollars.  

Sherri and I left and walked back to her house.  During the entire time we were at Jackelines and while walking home, she was receiving traffic updates from Cokie.  He brought one of the hotel vehicles into Guapelies for repairs and was going to meet us for lunch if possible.  We were still at Jackelines when Cokie was ready for lunch, since the vehicle was fixed he started to drive back to Sueno  Hearing this, Sherri changed, grabbed her books and decided I would drive her to school after lunch.  We stopped at the grocery store so I could pick up a green mango, something else I can’t spell but enjoy eating - phejepahe’s - the heart of a heart of palm, and jocote (little green fruits with a large seed that are sour or sweet depending upon ripeness).  Then we drove to Tilapia a roadside restaurant that specializes in Tilapia.  I’ve admired this restaurant for years.  There are two fishing ponds on the property and they recently added two in ground swimming pools.  Finally I had the opportunity to eat there.  

We ordered a whole Tilapia - fried and some dish I never heard of - rice, beans, fried pork and tomatoes served layered in a bowl surrounded by tortilla chips - as well as a couple of natural juice drinks.  It was 2:20 p.m. by the time we arrived at the restaurant and I was really hungry.  During lunch, Cokie told us that the traffic was so bad from the strike he turned around and went back to Guapelies to get something else done to the vehicle.  He and Sherri decided I needed an escort home so they made arrangements for us to meet in Guapelies.  

We got back on the road, the roads seemed clear and we were making good time, until all of the sudden -  50 meters from the old entrance to Guapelies - traffic stopped!   After inching our way up, I turned onto the old entrance to Guapelies.  Calling this a road, is kind.  Heck, calling it a trail is kind.  It was a clearing comprised of dirt and rocks.  Unbelievably bumpy.  It emptied into a road full of craters, that make New York City potholes look like cracks in the asphalt.  Since the taxi protest was taking up the main road, anyone familiar with the area, was on this road, including buses.   Costa Rican’s for the most part, don’t like to drive slowly.  As Federico once told me in all seriousness “My car doesn’t like to go slow”.   When I questioned him, he said “It’s true, the engine makes a lot of noise when if I go slow”.  Since the roads are so bad, locals know where every pothole, crater, hole is and are able to pass them and other vehicles at break neck speeds.  In the spirit of fitting in, I have mastered pot hole avoidance, but not the practice of passing while avoiding potholes.  I do manage to keep my speed up, and on the particular day was passed only by one crazy driver.  As Sherri and I made our way to Cokie, steering around potholes and oncoming traffic, I said “This is the only country I know of where driving a car on paved roads feels like riding on the back of a billy goat in the country”.  

We met up with Cokie, he followed me to Sherri’s school and then I followed him through Guaplies to the main road.  Traffic was thick - stop and go.  It’s frustrating because there is only one road with one lane in each direction.  No alternatives.  As I followed behind Cokie with my new straight hair and big sunglasses, every on coming truck driver took advantage of the opportunity to talk, wave or smile at me.  Even people passing me walking on the side of the road made comments.  Since I really have no idea what they were saying and Cokie was in front of me, looking in this rearview and sideview mirrors - I just kept smiling and at times, waving and saying “Hola”!  Two hours later, I arrived at Sueno Azul.  

I spent the rest of the night visiting with JoElla.  I didn’t intend to be out of the hotel from 10 a.m. - 5 p.m. on her last day in Costa Rica.  It seems everything turned out fine.  She spent the afternoon relaxing, sunning by the pool and I managed to get a few things completed that were important to me.  We wrapped up the week said our goodbyes and went to sleep, knowing we wouldn’t see each other in the morning as she had to leave the hotel at 2:30 a.m. for a 6:30 a.m. flight

Friday, March 20 - Viernes

La Playa!  Today is the trip to the beach.  The new abbreviated scheduled provides for a full day excursion.  After a lot of planning and investigation I settled on Chiuta National Park - a 2.5 - 3 hour drive from here.  The beach is beautiful, the town is small enough that the guests can feel safe to roam on their own without getting lost.  Chiuta offers something for everyone, hiking through the jungle, swimming in the Carribean, shopping, wildlife, the opportunity to each local food, coffee places and English is spoken here as well as Spanish and Limon Creole.   More on this later........   

Thursday, March 19 - Jueves

The arnica and yoga worked their magic - neither JoElla or I are sore.  Monique is in much better shape and wasn’t even anticipating being sore.  Great for her, sad for us - since she is 15 - 20 years older than us!  We ended our workshop on a positive note - everyone seemed to have enjoyed themselves and most importantly they relaxed.  

Adventure

Wednesday, March 18 - Miercoles

Okay, it has been a wonderfully crazy week.  Well, half week.  I am having so much fun with JoElla and Monique, while teaching a workshop, that I haven’t really had the time to write.  Having both of them here has been wonderful.  We visit with each other throughout the day, still spending time doing our own thing and spend the evenings sitting on the terrace talking.  It’s really nice to have people here who care about me and support me.  This is especially sweet since I spend most of my time here supporting others. 

JoElla has taken over my visible roll as the on-sight representative and yoga instructor, freeing up my mornings and minimizing the amount of questions that are individually directed toward me.   I love having the early morning hours to myself.  Every morning, I get up, strap on the sneakers, post water - of course, and hike a different part of the property.  Monday, JoElla and I hiked out to the Cascades by ourselves.  Monique and the guests were on the boat tour.  We swam in the natural pool and then tried each of the naturally occurring swimming holes in the cascades.  

Today is the full day tour and we’re all going along with the guests.  Up and out on a horse by 9:00 a.m.!  Yes, a horse.  I do it once a year, every year.  Monique is an expert rider.  JoElla a novice.  Me, an unwilling novice, but I’m doing it again.  I beg for the smallest, slowest horse and I’m the last one to mount.  Diego carefully checks my saddle and tells me everything is going to fine.  I have the slowest horse - I’ll be fine.  Off we go.  Monique in front with Diego, the participants in between her and JoElla and a Spanish couple in between JoElla and me.  I’m bringing up the rear with Pistolo. I’m not sure how Pistolo feels about this.  Since he only works with the horses, every time he sees me, there’s a look of terror in my eyes.  He has been the one driving the horses on the two occasions I thought I was going to be trampled during my morning walk.  He knows how I feel about horses, and now I’m on one, next to him.  Of course, since I have the slowest horse, he needs encouragement at times, which Pistolo is more than happy to provide.  Each time Pistolo makes the kissing noise - which moves the horses along, my horse tries to pass the two horses in front of him causing me to brush up against the other horse, or trees or anything nearby.  My horse will even walk dangerously close to the edge to speed up.  Monique is in the front talking away to Diego in Spanish, JoElla towards the rear talking away to her horse in English.  At least Monique is being understood.  Pistolo, unfortunatly, doesn’t speak or really understand English.  So, I’m all by myself, legs shaking, reminding myself to breathe, deeper.  Every once in a while I’ll say something in Spanish - which makes the Spanish couple laugh.  Needless to say, I’m not having a good time.  I really don’t enjoy horseback riding.  I know this, yet I continue to try it once a year.  About 3/4 of the way through the ride, after several passing attempts, lot’s of kissing noises, and dangerous edge riding, I decide I’ve had enough.  I know there is a huge hill coming up and I would honestly prefer to walk it than ride it.  My lower legs have been shaking most of the time and no matter how hard I try I can’t seem to get my knees into the horse while my heels are out as I’ve been taught.  I look at Pistolo and say  “No Mas” while drawing my finger across my throat.  I’m sure the finger was unnecessary, because he can see the fear on my face and in my eyes - but I threw it in for good measure.  It takes a little while to get Diego’s attention - he’s leading the group and talking non-stop to Monique.  Once Pistolo has his attention, Diego says loudly from the front of the pack “Who wants to get off?”.  Well, so much for pride - in front of all my students, guests and friends I say with a strong voice “I DO!”.  I can practically see Diego roll his eyes, although he patiently smiles, get’s off his horse and comes back and helps me get off my horse.  I actually fall into his arms, because my left foot get’s stuck in the stirrup.  He doesn’t seem to mind.  No one in the group seems surprised by this or says anything.  

We resume the trip - everyone riding and me walking next to my horse!  Once we get to the base of the big hill, my horse decides he’s had enough and stops.  I try the kissing noise, clapping and waving my arms - he’s not moving.  Pistolo tells me it’s okay - he’ll go back to the barn on his own.  I keep walking, laughing at myself and eternally grateful to be off the horse. My legs have finally stopped shaking and even though it’s warm, I’d rather be walking than riding that animal.  The horses and their riders turn off the rock and dirt trail onto a mud and clay path and I pick up my speed.  As I approach the canopy, the horses are no where in sight and Cokie is coming up in the tractor.  I jump on the tractor and stand next to him, Costa Rican style, while he gives me a short ride to the base of the canopy tour.  The horse’s and their riders arrive a short time later.

We all climb up to the canopy tour carrying our harness, helmets and clips.  Diego and staff strap the equipment on us and give a safety lecture.  Unlike the horses, I love the canopy tour.  When the opportunity presents itself, I make it known that I want to go upside down.  The staff agrees, and tells me they will take car of it on the 7th zip line.  We zip through the rain forrest.  I marvel at the way Pistolo appears to walk off the platform while he is talking and then turn upside down all by himself.  I make a note to ask Joaquin if I can learn this before I leave.  At the 7th zip line, I get my opportunity to  fly upside down with Diego.  One of the guests attempts to take a picture - but she’s only able to capture me raising myself up.  After the zip line, we pick up our bags at the jeep, change into bathing suits bask in the cool waters of the cascades.  After a typical Costa Rican lunch under the open air pavilion, beside the rushing water of the cascade it’s time to head back to the hotel for rafting.  We board the back of the tractor and take the 30 minute bumpy ride back to the hotel.  

Cokie drives us to the new rafting location - we are the first group of the season to be back rafting on the Sarrapiqui.  Since the rains have stopped, the other rivers are rather low and the Sarrapiqui has been clearing everyday.  The water is still the color of coffee with milk, but the floating debris have cleared and the rapids are better than those on the other rivers.  JoElla, Monique and I get in a raft together with the better looking guide.  Hey, you might as well enjoy the scenery while you can.  Monique, of course, is an experienced rafter.  I’m moderately experienced and JoElla is a novice.  Big day for JoElla!  Big day for all of us actually.  I am not accustomed to spending this much time with people, after all Wednesday is usually my free day.  Monique has been grabbing quiet time where she can, but with the three of us rooming next door to each other - it’s hard to do.  We proceed down the river, laughing and talking.  German, the guide, is speaking to Monique in Spanish and JoElla and I are chatting away inbetween paddling instructions.  At one point, we hit a big rapid, JoElla and I fell back in unison into the boat.  We laughed so hard, we couldn’t get up.  German stood over us and shouted “PICTURE!!!”.  Which just made us laugh more.  Finally, I started to get up and either Monique or the guide pulled me back down, telling me to stay there until we navigated the rapids.  Once up, Monique asked how we managed to fall backwards in perfect unison and I responded “We are both Forrest Yoga Instructors.  You practice in a room with Ana for 30 days and you would do everything in unison as well.”  JoElla and I laughed even harder.  Halfway through our rafting experience we pulled over and had fruit and cookies on the banks of the Sarrapiqui River.  We shared our experiences with our guests in the other raft and waved at passing rafters.  Apparently it was a busy day on the Sarrapiqui.  Post fruit, we returned to our raft where JoElla and I switched sides.  Since we are both yoga instructors we want to ensure balance.  Following commands, we navigate the river.  At some point we hit another rapid for which we were unprepared.  JoElla fell into the middle of the raft, landing with her hand on my knee.  I fall halfway out of the raft.  My helmet is grazing the rapids.  I’m doing a back bend over the side of the raft with my feet wedged into the floor - one foot in the foot hold and the other between the side of the raft and the bottom.  I open my eyes and notice the safety kayak racing towards me.  This causes an alarm to go off in my head, instantaneously I decide I’m not going in the water.  I push the handle of my paddle in the direction of JoElla, as we were taught in the safety lecture, nothing happens.  Since I don’t want to end up in the water, I pull myself up with my abdominal muscles.   As soon as I get up I say to JoElla “You’re supposed to grab my paddle and help me up.”  She said “I fell too.  I was holding onto your knee - why are you yelling at me?”  I didn’t realize I was yelling - we both look at each other and start laughing.  I look back at German - he has a very surprised look on his face.  I give him a look implying ‘What?‘ and he responds in very clear, slow English “You are VERY strong.”  I said “Yes.”,  thinking again of all that Forrest Yoga abdominal work and my morning abdominal practice.  More laughing and paddling and we survived the rafting without further incident.  At the take out location, we all help to carry the paddles, safety rope and water bottles.  A quick shower and change into dry clothes.  There was a photographer on the route and he shows us the DVD on a computer.  We are disappointed to learn that there aren’t any pictures of us falling.  All of the pictures show us laughing and having a great time.  JoElla purchased the DVD and loaded the pictures on my computer.  We pile back into the van, exhausted from our full day of excursions, looking forward to dinner.    

Upon returning to the hotel, JoElla and I each took some Arnica - just in case.  It was a very big day with lot’s of new adventures and we have no desire to relive it in our muscle memory tomorrow. 

Food, Fun and Friendship

Saturday, March 14 - Sabado 

After repeated attempts to visit with Jackeline for a manicure and pedicure - I finally have an appointment and a ride.  The manicure/pedicure with Jackeline, ride and time with Sherri is slated to take 10 hours!  Yep, 10 hours.  Oh, well - Jackeline is worth it and I miss spending time with Sherri.  I board the shuttle with the guests at 8:00 a.m., taking advantage of the free ride to Roberto’s at the entrance to the National Park.  As soon as I get off the shuttle, Sherri is waiting for me on the other side of the street.  I give her my usual greeting - a very loud “Sherri” with body language that indicates I am excited and pleased to see her.  She blushes, but is obviously thrilled, and gives me a huge a hug.  As I mentioned Sherri does not work at the hotel anymore and our visits have been limited.  We walk into Roberto’s - stopping to speak with David who runs Sarrapiqui Adventures - a rafting company Adrain tried to get Omega to use this season.  I explain to David the decision wasn’t mine.  This is something he already knew.  So there are no hard feelings and we have a pleasant conversation before heading into the restaurant for breakfast.

Sherri looks amazing.  She has gained weight and relaxed since leaving the hotel.  She’s going to school full time and speaks at a normal rate as opposed to the rapid rate of speech she had at the hotel.  We order breakfast and I settle on French toast as a treat since I’ve already eaten fruit at the hotel.  The French Toast arrives and it is unlike any French Toast I have ever seen.  I expected traditional French Toast.  Well, this is two pieces of white bread, with the crust cut off, covered with fruit.  Unbelievably sweet.  As I cut into it, I realize there is pineapple jelly and cheese inside.  Leave it to the Costa Ricans to make French Toast with excess sugar!  Sherri is also surprised, but she loves sweet things.  In an effort to be gracious, I cut in and start eating.  Since I’ve given up eggs and breakfast meat - my choices are limited.  I eat, knowing full well I will have a sugar crash in a couple of hours.  

After our sugar laden breakfast, we get into her car and drive to Pocora.  Once we arrive at her house, we hang out.  I crash around 11:30 a.m., but since we are just sitting there, it goes by unnoticed.  We take a walk to the local grocery store and I’m amazed at the different choices of fruit - some I have never seen before.  We pick up plantains for lunch as well as some interesting fruit and treats for me to try later at the hotel.  

Sherri makes me a lunch of patacones and fish.  I try to help with the preparations, as this is the first time I have the opportunity to make patacones.  She let’s me remove the peel from one of the plantains, but mostly I stand there and talk to Sherri while she cooks.  Then I eat and talk to Sherri while she continues to cook the rest of the patacones.   After lunch we walk to Jackelines for my manicure and pedicure.  I love seeing Jackeline.  We sit and talk - well they talk and I chime in occasionally, with Sherri serving as my translator.  I love being here.  Jackeline is so grateful for the quick drying top coat I brought down from the States.  She explains how she tried to save some for my manicure and pedicure.  All of her clients were asking for it, since it was so damp and rainy.  Jackeline paints my finger and toe nails in an intricate floral design.  Yes, every nail is hand painted.  She has the most beautiful straight and shinny hair.  I asked her how she manages to keep it that way.  She explains that she straightened it with a cream and shows me the shine product.  She offered to pick up the products and apply the cream to my hair, I readily agree.  We settle on the terms - I’ll come over as soon as she can get the product.  

Sherri and I drive back to Sueno Azul - 10 hours after leaving the hotel, I return having spent the day surrounded by friends with a full stomach, manicure, pedicure and the promise of straight hair.  I happily return to my room eager to greet my other friends, JoElla who spent the day at the hotel relaxing and Monique,  my co-facilitator for our upcoming workshop, who arrived while I was in Pocora. 

New Beginnings

Thursday, March 12 - Jueves

I woke up with relatively straight hair.  I’m absolutely amazed.  Straight hair and I have a friend here.   It feels so good to have a friend here.  I taught an amazing class, despite the lack of sleep and waited for JoElla at breakfast.  We spent the day giving each other little gifts and catching up.  She brought me some amazingly thoughtful things.  I did remember that about her - it’s much better not to ask her for anything, because the things she brings on her own are so fabulous.  All were greatly appreciated - like miso soup packets, wonderfully scented soap, a natural sponge, loofa, sage, music CD’s.  All fabulous things.  I left her a couple of magazines about the area, a fantastic book I just finished reading and information necessary to assist me throughout the week.  

San Jose

Wednesday, March 11 - Miercoles

 Aura, Rodrigo and I left the hotel at 2:30 p.m. on Wednesday, March 11.  We were on our way to pick up JoElla in San Jose after her arrival at 8:45 p.m.  We needed to make a few stops along the way.  First, we stopped in Rio Frio so I could get a haircut.  As I mentioned the self bang trimming was not very successful,  I really needed a professional trim before the start of my workshop.  Since we were already traveling today was the perfect day to squeeze in a haircut.  Aura called earlier in the morning to make an afternoon appointment.  After entering the main area of Rio Frio, we drove down a few residential streets to a narrow dirt road with houses on both sides that were extremely close to the road.  As the road became even more narrow, we eased to a stop in front of a house.   The hair salon consisted of the front room in the hairdresser’s house.  

Aura accompanied me into the house, where the hair stylist and her friend were waiting.  After a quick introduction, Aura spoke on my behalf, explaining I only wanted a trim and that although I didn’t speak Spanish, I understood Spanish.  I was grateful for the introduction as well as the language explanation.  Since my hair was already clean, we proceeded directly to the chair.  I spent most of my time, smiling and listening.  Aura did all of the talking.  After cutting my hair, the stylist managed to blow dry it straight without the aid of any product.  Just a blow dryer and a brush and my hair was completely straight despite the rain and humidity.  She finished the look with a little silicone gel.  3,000 colones ($6.00) later I returned to the van.    Aura and Rodrigo loved the new look and couldn’t believe the difference.  I couldn’t believe it was still straight, even after I left her house and returned to the van.  We stopped at a panaderia (bakery), purchased a couple of cookies and a bread snack and continued to San Jose.   I planned to find a cute restaurant in a busy city area where we could kick back, relax and enjoy while people watching.  Rodrigo had a plan of his own.   

We made it through the National Park and into San Jose by 4:30 p.m.  As we proceeded through the streets of San Jose,  I learned that Rodrigo used to be employed as a chauffeur for bank  executives.  During this time he was married, lived in the San Jose area and had a daughter.  I only know Rodrigo as the driver for Sueno Azul who lives nearby in this beautiful house with his mother.  I was a little taken back to hear of his previous life.  As he was enjoying this trip down memory lane, he pointed out the bank and other various locations that were an important part of his life.   I asked him which job he preferred, driving tourist or driving executives of the Bank.  He clearly stated he preferred working for the bank.  Rodrigo does such a fabulous job at the resort, always with a smile and wonderful disposition, I never would have guessed he had another job he would have preferred.  I appreciated his honesty and wondered what happened that made his life change so dramatically.  

By this time Aura and I were in need of a bathroom.  Since Aura prefers not to use public toilets, she called her mother-in-law and asked if we could stop at her house.  She lovingly agreed and was unlocking the gate to her property across from the new mall as we turned the corner.  The architecture of Joaquins mother’s house was stunning.  Truly a wonderfully designed city house with access to a private green area in the back.  I sat with Joaquin’s mother while Aura ran immediately to the bathroom.  She spoke slowly in Spanish about the earthquake earlier today.  Saying she felt it, that it was very strong (6.3 on the Richter scale).  All of the roads in San Jose were fine, most of the damage occurred further South.  I simply smiled and tried to convey that we didn’t feel it at Sueno Azul.  When Aura returned from the bathroom, she translated my Spanish to real Spanish.  We visited for a short period of time, while Rodrigo circled the block.   

After the appropriate amount of visiting time, we returned to the vehicle.  Rodrigo proceeded to drive out of the city limits.  It seemed he had a plan of his own.  As we drove further away from the city, up a twisting hill, I grew more and more confused.  I knew we were driving away from the airport and from the possible thriving downtown area I was hoping to find.  I love being in another country and learning about the country.  In my current capacity I encounter tourists and Costa Rican’s on vacation - it’s an artificial environment. I was looking forward to observing Costa Rican’s in their daily environment as well as practicing my Spanish in the real Costa Rica.  As my face revealed my confusion, Aura took the opportunity to explain that Rodrigo wanted to show us this restaurant that overlooked the city.  Although I appreciated Rodrigo’s enthusiasm and planning, my disappointed grew with each curve up the steep hill as the opportunity to interact with locals in a thriving downtown environment receded.  The drive was exceedingly long.  Finally we arrived at a fancy restaurant on a hill top.  Rodrigo was uncharacteristically excited as he lead the way up the steps.  I tried to contain my disappointment at not sampling the authentic Costa Rican daily life.  This is clearly a high end restaurant, with the waiters in white button down shirts, black pants and the white towel over their arms.  It seems tonight is a special night - with a $ 45 dollar fee for dancing and buffet - starting at 7:00 p.m. - 10:00 pm.  Since we are least an hour from the airport we would only be able to stay for 30 - 45 minutes of the event.  Rodrigo took us here to show us the view and have a coffee.  We sat at a table by the window overlooking the valley containing the city of San Jose, province of Heredia, the national park and even the province of Sarrapiqui in the distance.  The view was beautiful and it was obvious that Rodrigo was reliving part of his past, as well as sharing something special to him with us.  We each ordered a coffee and sat and talked.  We watched the day give way to night as the lights in the valley sparkeled. 

After coffee we returned to the vehicle for the long drive down the hill in search of a restaurant.  Of course Aura and Rodrigo couldn’t think of one and I was determined to find a cute place to eat.  My cute restaurant quest was cut short by the late hour and we ended up at a roadside soda/restaurant near the airport.  As soon as we ordered, both Aura and Rodrigo recalled better places to eat - but it was too late.  The food was marginal, the company was great.  Off to the airport to meet JoElla.  We arrived at 9:00 p.m. and searched for her.  I haven’t seen JoElla since 2003 and realized as I arrived at the airport that I had no idea what she looked like.  The last time I saw her, her hair was really short.  Aura asked me what she looked like and I really couldn’t explain.  We simply searched.  Walking back and forth and finally settled on staring in through the glass.  In Costa Rica you cannot enter the airport unless you are traveling.  All pickups and meetings are curbside.  I watched intently for anyone who looked remotely familiar.  I was grateful no one offered me a taxi, taking it as a sign I am blending in - as best I can with my blonde hair.  Finally after 20 minutes, I see her walk.  Yes, of all things, I remembered her walk.  Her hair was a little longer  with a curl and pulled up off her face - then I saw the eyes at exactly the same time she saw me.  I ran over to the opening and of course screamed with excitement as soon as she cleared the doorway.  We hugged each other for an extended period of time, causing Aura and Rodrigo to turn away.  When we finished, I introduced her Aura and Rodrigo who were both blushing at this point.  

Off to the van and our hour and half ride back to Sueno Azul.  The entire ride was filled with two different conversations in two different languages.  Aura and Rodrigo conversing in Spanish in the front seats while  JoElla and I caught up on the past 6 years in English in the second seat. We arrived at the hotel around 11:30 p.m. and JoElla insisted on taking her own bags to her room, despite the night guards best efforts.  She gave me a huge container of Rice protein powder, something I cannot get in this country and greatly missed.  We immediately filled her water bottle - she has also been drinking alkaline water and agreed to meet in the morning.  

6.3

We are fine.  The effects of yesterday's earthquake were not felt in this region.  

Return to Grace

Tuesday, March 10 - Martes

The rain has abated!  Yes, it finally stopped raining sometime today.  The day vacillated  between clouds, a few rays of sun, heavy overcast, light rain, cool temps finally giving way to a partially cloudy sky and warmer temps.  As day turned to evening, I was able to see the beauty of the full moon.  It is absolutely breathtaking tonight.  One that I just want to sit and watch.  I tried taking pictures of it, but I don’t have the right camera.  The moon is so bright, I was told you actually need a high shutter speed.  

It was a pleasure to leave my room in a t-shirt and flip flops this evening.  I headed to the Rodeo in my red cowboy hat from Santa Fe.  Happy and grateful to be wearing less clothing than I have been able to in recent weeks.  The rodeo was actually fun - yelling and screaming for Cokie to win various prizes.  He doesn’t seem to win, perhaps because Adrian and Federico know I am biased.  All of us managed to have a good time this evening.  

I was able to admire the beauty of the moon reflecting off the relatively calm river and the way it’s light brightens the entire resort.  I am actually sitting outside on my terrace writing this by moonlight.  

Tomorrow is a big day, Federico has approved my plan of picking JoElla up at the airport.  On the way to the airport we are going to stop in Rio Frio so I can get a haircut.  I have actually messed up the bangs so badly by cutting them myself that I need some professional assistance.  After which we will drive to San Jose, have a little dinner, shop, drink coffee and just relax.  Taking in the beauty of a city.  Then, we pick up JoElla and return to the beauty that is Sueno Azul.  Oh, but before all of this, I will bask in the warmth of the sun, celebrating it’s timely appearance on my day off.   

Monday, March 9 - Lunes

The sun retreated around 2:00 p.m., making way for the rain to return at 7:00 p.m. on Saturday.  I have made peace with the weather, although I still do not like it.  I’ve relinquished the shorts and sandals until the sun returns.  Each night I go to bed thinking “tomorrow is sun”, and each morning I wake to rain.  I’ve given up trying to wear lighter yoga pants - donning my long hyde yoga pants, a jacket, socks and sneakers for the short walk to the yoga studio.  I usually end up teaching in my jacket and putting my socks on while the class rests in savasana.  Not my preferred method of teaching, but one that keeps me warm.  

I have a friend coming to visit and work!  Actually I have two friends coming this week and one coming in a couple of weeks.  Its the season of friendship.  My friend, JoElla, from San Diego will arrive on Wednesday for an 11 day visit.  I’ve managed to arrange a little fiesta to ease her transition.  The staff of Sueno is not accustomed to me having friends visit and I’d like to make it easy for everyone involved.  On Wednesday Rodrigo, Aura and I will leave Sueno in the afternoon, drive to San Jose and have a festive dinner, relaxing, chatting and possibly enjoying warm weather.  After which we’ll pick JoElla up at the airport around 9:00 p.m. and drive back to the resort together.  It’s a nice introduction for Aura and Rodrigo, a great welcome for JoElla and a fabulous way for me to spend a few hours outside of the resort on my day off.  I met JoElla at Forrest Yoga Teacher Training in 2001.  We practiced side by side for most of the 30 day training, grunting, groaning, crying and smiling.  We managed to keep in touch since, despite the fact that the last time I actually saw her was in 2004.   I‘m hoping we recognize each other at the airport.  

Monique, my other friend, will be much easier to recognize as I just saw her in August.  Monique and I are co-teaching a workshop entitled “Relax, Renew, Restore”.  She’ll arrive on Saturday for our week long workshop.  It will be good to see her as well.  I love spending time with Monique, co-teaching is a special treat.  This week, my capacity changes - I become the workshop leader while JoElla steps in to teach the morning yoga classes and serve as the on-sight representative.  She gets all of the questions!  

I’ll return to my usual role for another week on March 21.  After which, Eva arrives.  I also met Eva at the Forrest Yoga Teacher Training in 2001.  We became fast friends, when she opened her home to me after September 11 of the same year.  I’ve seen Eva many times since then - Chicago, NYC, Connecticut.  Our most recent reunion was in December of 2007 - we spent 7 days in a Forrest Yoga Continuing Education class.  Eva will assume the role of daily yoga instructor and on-sight representative while I teach The 12-Steps of Yoga ® workshop.  It will be great to see her again and have her unwavering support while I’m teaching.  

I’ll remain in Costa Rica until April 11, squeezing a three day trip in with Aura.  We’re not sure where we are going, but we’re going somewhere.  The next few weeks promise to be very busy.  I’m looking forward to the changes and the friends.  

El Sol

March 7, Saturday - Sabado

I reluctantly emerge from my bed after a chilly, fitful night of sleep.  The rain has stopped.  The chill persists despite the garbage bag covered window; bedspread, towel, pashmina and sarong covered bed.  Upon exiting the shower, covered in two bath towels, I place and even larger thicker pool towel over my shoulders as I prepare to exit the room.  Upon exiting, I notice that although it is still chilly - I am dressed in socks, pants, a tank top tucked into the pants covered with a long sleeved shirt - it is warmer than previous days and certainly warmer than my room.  I reach the lobby at 8:15 a.m. unable to hide my feelings.  The dreariness of the rain has gotten to me.  My posture is slumped and my morning greetings are as damp as the covered walkways.  I realize my forced smile isn’t  fooling any of the staff and proceed to my office to deposit my backpack.  Hoping that in shedding the pack, I will regain my composure.  Today is transition - this weeks guest leave and next weeks guests arrive.  A challenge on a good day, dreadful on one like today.  I walk to the from desk, noticing that the guest luggage is obviously missing.  It’s 8:15 a.m., they are scheduled to depart at 8:45 a.m. - where is the luggage.  As I am attempting to communicate with Rodrigo at the front desk, Luc hands me the phone.  Under normal circumstances I can easily handle the halting Spanish conversation that occurs between Rodrigo and I while speaking in English to Federico (for he is on the phone) and preparing to speak some semblance of English/Spanish to Luc.  Today, however, proves not to be a normal day.  The staff has already scattered in search of the missing luggage.  Rodrigo’s needs seem to be more urgent than usual and I can’t understand him because my brain is trying to process why Federico is calling me and already preparing for the challenging conversation with Luc.  As Federico speaks, I realize what Rodrigo wants and motion for a pen and the transportation list so I may cross off the names of the guests who left early as a result of the weather.  For they will not be on today’s shuttle - they are already  in their homes having fled at 4:00 a.m. on Friday fearful that rain would prevent a timely exit today.  Federico wants to ensure that I have informed the guests that this weather is highly unusual.  “How are the guests?  Do they know this weather is not usual?  Are they complaining?  Did you tell them this weather is unusual?  It never rains for an entire week in March.  Did you tell them?”.  I am overwhelmed, I can only manage “Yes, of course I told them.  They know.  Of course they know, for I don’t have the right clothes and I have been cold - they know.”  My usual enthusiasm is noticeably absent and I can’t manage any more of a reassurance.  I feel badly.  Federico counters with “Charrito, you are a beautiful girl.”  Despite my perceived inability to reassure him, he is reassured as I can hear the smile in his voice.  I hang up, finish with Rodrigo, attempt to communicate with Luc.  When she misunderstands me - which is often and is always annoying as she works the front desk and never seems to understand anyone on the first attempt - the experiences of the entire week seem to slam into my body.  Before I realize what is happening, tears escape my eyes and my posture slumps even further.  I feel crushed beneath the weight of the rain, cold, questions, anger, fear, uncertainty and demands that comprised this week.  The tears just come, lightly.  Everyone freezes, not sure what to do.  Rodrigo appears embarrassed.  Luc just stands there eyes wide, mouth open.  I attempt to regain composure.  Miraculously Luc manages to understand my next question.  The tears stop, I learn the guests have checked out and the luggage is being picked up.  I head towards the restaurant stopping at the bathroom to compose myself further before facing the departing guests.  Before I can even walk over the threshold of the bathroom, one of the guests starts waving from the restaurant as if she is in dire need of help.  What could possibly be so important that she is chasing me down at the bathroom?  Can’t I just use the bathroom?  Why is she running towards me?  I pause while she explains her urgent issue.  It seems one of the staff has given her a bottle of salsa and she would like to tip the staff member, but the staff member is not working today.  Honestly, this guest is in a panic over this.  I calmly tell her it’s fine, I will take the tip and pass it along.  She continues to talk about her panic, wanting to launch into a long unnecessary conversation.  My normal tolerance, patience and understanding are drenched with rain solidified with the chill, I cannot offer my usual unwavering support.  I simply smile and excuse myself, pointing at the bathroom.  Now instead of splashing water on my face, which was my original intention, I walk into a stall close the door and cry some more, wondering how this became my life.  

As I enter the restaurant and overhear the guest conversation, the content of which makes me realize that I cannot join their table this morning.  I am barely holding it together.  Inane, non sensical, and violent conversation will only serve to push me over the edge.  I gather my breakfast from the buffet and walk into the bar area on the pretense of needing something from the staff.  When my appearance no longer attracts attention I proceed to the terrace and stand watching the river while I eat my breakfast.  After a few minutes, I realize the din of conversation has been replaced with silence.  I turn, walk back and gratefully realize the guests have migrated to the lobby - for they realize it’s time to go.  This is such a huge relief, as I do not have gather them and give them bathroom reminders as I do every day of the week.  I join them in the lobby and facilitate their boarding of the shuttle with hugs and kind words.  I board the shuttle and ask for room keys they may have forgotten to turn in at checkout, gather those and make my final departing announcement.   I disembark and send them on their way.  As the shuttle leaves the property, individual clouds start to form in the sky, allowing the sun to break through.  

I remove the long sleeve shirt, replace the socks and sneakers with sandals, grab a chair and walk into the driveway.  The sun can be fleeting after so much rain, so I don’t want to risk missing a moment of warmth by changing into shorts.  I sit in the driveway for 20 minutes, taking in the sun.  As it warms, the sky begins to open to puffy clouds and I realize I may get a couple of hours of sun.  I go to the pool for 30 minutes - still dressed.  Returning the the lobby to perform the same departure ritual for the second shuttle at 11:00 a.m.  The sun is still shining.  I change into a bathing suit, grab a book and spend two uninterrupted at the pool, letting the sun warm my body and my soul, renewing my tolerance, patience and enthusiasm while restoring the authenticity of my smile.    

Chill

 I took a 20 minute nap today.  Fell asleep fully dressed in several layers covered with a polyester sarong and wool pashmina.  When I woke my nose was cold.  The rain continues and the wind causes the curtains to blow - letting in damp, chilly air.   I’ve had enough of being cold.  Suddenly is occurs to me that as the Omega Representative, I have access to resources.  I quickly put on my shoes and walk down to reception, slipping on the damp sidewalks beneath covered walkways with the sound of beating rain a constant companion.  I gather two large trash bags from the laundry room, push pins and a pair of scissors from my office.  I return to my room, careful not to slip on the damp concrete in my excitement.  After a few minutes the large screen window is completely covered in black plastic trash bags underneath the curtains.  The curtains have stopped billowing from the wind and the room feels warmer.   Perhaps it is a result of the physical labor involved in covering the window,  although I am hoping it’s the plastic preventing some of the wind from entering and retaining the heat generated from my body.  

I left the warmth of my room to give a couple of Reiki sessions, closing the bathroom door and leaving the lights on in the hope this will generate some heat.  It is so windy tonight I pass fallen trees as I return to my room post Reiki and dinner.  The ground is saturated, causing the relentless rain to form abundant streams, the color of coffee with milk.  Newly formed trenches serve as a border to the outside of my room. The pilot light for the hot water heater cannot retain it’s spark, depriving us of hot water at a time when it’s most needed.  I have been bathed in chilliness since October despite my Southern locations.  I crave warmth, heat, the comfort of wearing little clothing while feeling warm.  As I open the door to my room, I feel warmth.  I pause, giddy with the feel of it.  Then, just in case, I quickly shut the door, not wanting of any this new found warmth to escape.  For this is the first time in many days it is actually warmer in my room than outside.   

  

Silence

It’s raining.  Correction - it is still raining.  It has been raining since I finished orientation on Sunday morning at 10:00 a.m.  As I write this it’s Wednesday at 5:00 p.m.  I am once again in multiple layers.  Aura felt badly for me and brought a pair of warmer pants in from her home for me to wear.  I have on a navy baseball hat, white long sleeve shirt, olive green sweatshirt with hood over the hat, purple pashmina, light blue and red scarf, Aura’s light blue sweatpants, an orange sarong wrapped over the pants, and white socks!  My feet are still cold.  I’m safely ensconced in my room, shades drawn, bathroom door closed (I closed it, so no fear of caiman) attempting to keep the warmth in.  All of the lights are on in an effort to create warmth or at least the illusion of warmth.  

It is my day off and I have succeeded in not talking, with the exception of wants and needs like food, pedicure, deep conditioning hair treatment and massage!  I made it all the way to breakfast without speaking to one person.  I ordered breakfast and sat quietly in the darkest part of the bar hiding from several guests who are unexpectedly in the restaurant at 9:15 a.m.  They must have decided to forego the full day excursion due to rain.  After a satisfying and peaceful meal, the first one I have had the pleasure of consuming without conversation since January 31, I walked back to my room.  In silence, the walk was beautiful.  It’s the same walk I make several times a day for water, rest, meals.  This morning, in silence it was a totally different walk.  I had the wherewithal to take in the beauty of the walkway, trees, plants, sound of the rain and renew my appreciation for the beauty of Sueno Azul.  It’s interesting how I can work and live in some of the beautiful places and not be able to fully appreciate the beauty on a regular basis.  Despite the best intentions I still get bogged down in the day to day existence, the doing instead of being, the to be done instead of being, the already done instead of being.  I get glimpses of this in Florida as well.  Some days my morning walk is filled with the wonderful beauty of Clearwater Beach, others is just another thing to do before I do the next thing.  Such a waste, this doing, already done, have to get done.  Being is so much more pleasurable and in the process the doing is also accomplished.  

Now the guests are restless.  They choose to return early and have been wondering the hotel, resting in their rooms since 2:00 p.m.  The next scheduled entertainment/event is at 7:00 p.m.  In order to block out their chatter, I have donned headphones and am blissfully listening to Cher while drinking tea.  I spend most of my time without any artificial background noise.  Sometimes the noise in my head is enough and sometimes I can actually hear the sounds of nature.  Since it’s my day off and I’m not speaking to anyone, I’m indulging in music. 

Usually when I return to the States after Costa Rica I am totally exhausted, depleted, in need of sleep, silence and food.  I have to adjust to lights, noise, planning meals, feeding myself and being back in touch.  For the first few years I was fortunate to have a friend take me in.  RoseAnn totally understood.  She would pick me up at the airport and we would catch up the whole way to her house stopping for our indulgent meal of much appreciated McDonalds and a Starbucks coffee.  The next 3 - 4 days were totally planned for me.  All I had to do was get up and go to sleep.  I think she even told me when to shower, as I was useless.  RoseAnn would prepare the coffee, meals, and plan our days.  She would tell me over coffee what I needed to know to get through the first hours and as I adjusted, the day.  I never understood how she knew, she just did.  I will always appreciate her for that.  I miss those days.  Last year she was in New York, I was homeless and my Mother was on vacation in Florida.  I spent a week with my mother - finding myself under the glaring florescent lights of CVS within 12 hours of landing in the US, looking for drinking water.  This year I’m no longer homeless, RoseAnn will be on her way to New York, Mom will be working and I’ll be on my own that first morning.  I think I’m finally able to handle it.  Probably not as well as RoseAnn did, certainly not as terrible as being in CVS looking for water at 9:00 a.m., somewhere in between.   I’ll have the Kangen water filtration machine hooked up as soon as I get home, solving the water issue.  I’ll travel with tea and organic snacks from Costa Rica so I can safely navigate the first 24 hours without having to leave my house.  

Perhaps, this year I’ll also be better prepared.  I figured out today one of the things I miss most about living outside of an all inclusive resort is the ability to have breakfast before I brush my teeth.  Such a simple thing that really encapsulates the resort lifestyle.  Most of us have down time throughout any given day when we don’t have to look our best or be on our best behavior.  Living and working in a resort doesn’t provide for that.  The moment I open the door to my room I become public property.  I can’t just run to the kitchen for a snack in my pj’s and slippers (oh, I wish I had some slippers), go check the internet for email without possibly seeing one of my guests or a member of the staff.  One of the biggest thrills about my day off is I actually get to stay in my room until I’m ready to leave.  I can use the bathroom, relax, use the bathroom, drink tea, use the bathroom, all before leaving the room.  All of the other days I have to be out of the room by 6:30 a.m. to practice yoga before teaching.  Teeth brushed! 

Lessons & Insights

I’ve learned a few things while during my time here.  Learned/Realized/Understand - either or perhaps all of those words are true.  I’ve realized that I will always stand up for what I believe is correct.  This is a wonderful quality, one that I am grateful for and admire in others.  This quality can become an issue when the methods employed are “above and beyond”.  As a result of this realization I will not be running for a position on the Board at the condominium complex where I own property this November .   I have tried to effect change, have a say, stand up for what I believe and represent the majority to the best of my ability each year I have served as a member of the Board.  Despite my best efforts, I have not succeeded.  The other Board members continue to exclude me and carry on in a fashion I believe primarily benefits each of them without proper regard for the owners as a whole.  I can no longer be the voice of change in this community.  Realizing that is disappointing and freeing at the same time.  I’ve never understood the concept of “cut your loses” when it pertains to doing what is right.  This experience, however, has taught me that perhaps there are other ways to effect change by simply being a vocal member of the community rather than one of a governing board that governs without regard to those they serve.  

I also understand that my preferred mode of service is based in friendship.  This is a huge lesson, one I just was able to glimpse as a result of my position here in Costa Rica.  Yes, I am working and I am also in service.  I am not necessarily in friendship to those I serve.  Although I prefer to serve in friendship, often this is not accepted or welcomed by those I serve and I truly suffer as a result.  I’ve adjusted my service mentality, building and maintaining friendships where possible and continuing to serve where that is not possible.  The interesting aspect is being able to recognize and appreciate the difference and still show up in service.  

People give what they can when they can.  I still love them.  Calmness is recognized and appreciated by everyone.  I accomplish my tasks more efficiently and with cooperation when approached in a position of calmness.  The comments regarding this from the Costa Rican community, mostly Federico, have been amazing.  Sometimes, even when I think I’m inappropriate - no one believes that.  I easily make friends and relate to people even though I often feel misunderstood.  

A few interesting humorous things I haven’t told you.  Frequently when the housekeepers clean my room they will close the door to the bathroom.  When I return to my room on these on occasions I frown, roll my eyes and am hesitant to open the bathroom door.  I irrationally fear there is a caiman on the other side.  The other day I was making a protein shake.  The blender was broken and Paula instructed me in Spanish/sign language how to use the drink shaker.  I used to be a bartender - so the instruction really wasn’t necessary - but it was appreciated.  She walked away and I poured the contents into the container.  As she returned I was shaking the drink, as per her instruction.  She became so silly, stopped in mid walk, looked at me and said in broken English between fits of laughter “Charrito - shake drink, not your self”.  Those of you who have known me for some time are laughing hysterically because you get the picture.  I have received more hugs from the staff during my time here that I normally would in a year, including my time at huggy Omega.  Last week, the staff was in a particularly good mood.  The Omega guests were financially generous and easy to please.  During breakfast, four of the female staff were working.  They ran up to me in front of the buffet in unison and gave me a group hug and even let out little screams.  My guests loved it and asked me why.  I told them “I really don’t know - but I enjoyed it”.  I get kissed and hugged often, maybe even more than when I worked in the group home and I truly appreciate it. 

Sueno Azul is the site of a celebrity reality show.  The BBC, the parent company, is here right now scouting and planning for filming of “I’m a Celebrity - Get me out of here” or something like that.  I met Sam, the big boss, and Brian, the person in charge of this project.  There are 50 people on the advance scouting team, staying 2 - 5 days.  The actual production will require 200 people to be here starting in May, filming for three weeks in June and editing for a couple of weeks there after.  I fail to understand how so many people and so much money can be spent on a reality show production of celebrities like Mark Spitz, Jesse Ventura and Tracy Gold!  Do we really need to wonder what is wrong with our economy?  Perhaps, if we all shut off the television, stop responding to advertisements, lived our lives, helped others and got out there and volunteered in our communities - we’d have a chance of regaining our position as a strong, dominate country.  Instead of one that eats a variety of chemicals while “relaxing” on the couch watching “celebrities suffer”.  

The number one question I answer every week is “Cheryl, what do you do on your day off.”  Tonight I gave them the real, honest answer - “Each one is different, tomorrow I am getting a pedicure and a massage and I’m not talking to anyone.”  As the shock registered on their faces, I said “I talk so much during the week, and I tried not to talk to anyone last week, but I ended up talking to the staff.  Tomorrow I’m going to try to not even talk to them.  Perhaps I should write my father and tell him that my objective for my day off is not to talk, he would get a kick out of that.  He probably wouldn’t even believe it.”  Richard Garrigues, the Bird Watching Instructor, father of 5 grown children almost choked on his soup! 

Oh yeah, despite how much I want to categorize people - all of them escape categorization and everyone is basically good.  After all, we really are all one.  

Anniversary

Today is the anniversary of my twelfth year clean.  Twelve years of life without a drug or drink containing alcohol!  An accomplishment for anyone in today's society a special accomplishment for those of us who once depended on a substance to make it through the day.  

It is a wonderful day, one which has replaced my actual day of birth as the day most deserving of a celebration.  My birthday is a distant second when I remember how much of my life this day has given back to be.  For 15 years I lost sight of how special each day was.  During that time, each day was something to get through, get beyond, get on to the next when the vicious cycle would be repeated again and again for 5,475 days!  Of course each was a celebration - totally different from the celebration that marks today.  Each day was a celebration which resulted in blocking out the past, future, and even the present existing solely for the opportunity to stuff memories and change feelings  with the use of a substance.  The feelings became further and further repressed, along with the memories until eventually I was acting.  Yes, acting.  Picking a feeling and behaving appropriately.  Remembering only the good or the positive, selectively choosing to continue to repress the perceived bad or the negative.  

 For the past 12 years I am blissfully aware of the specialness contained in each moment, interaction, feeling and memory.  For each has it's purpose and none are bad.   Each day I thank God for being exactly who I am - an addict in recovery.  This is a day that deserves to be celebrated.  Before I began working in Costa Rica the day was marked with a special celebration at my home group in Brooklyn.  The celebration was always fabulous - family and friends, members of 12-Step groups as well as those who are not would gather at 9:30 a.m. on Ft. Hamilton Parkway at the Serenity on Saturday meeting of NA.  Then we would all proceed to breakfast at a local diner.  The day was full of presents, presence, conversation, smiles, laughter and joy!  The joy of being.  

Today, the day is still full of presents, presence, smiles, laughter and joy.  The staff appreciates the specialness of this day, although they do not fully comprehend how their Charrito, the one they know, had ever taken a drink or a drug.  I was told this morning - "You are not that person, let it go, you are a new person, a wonderful person who does not drink".  For that is true, but I am also the person who did drink and use drugs.  And for me, I need to recognize and honor that fact.  For in forgetting we are only doomed to repeat.  

Each year, the days leading up to my anniversary have a pervading sense of what I can only term strangeness.   An overall feeling of ever present anxiety, accompanied by an inability to comprehend even the simplest instructions at times, emotions that seem so close to the surface they could easily burst, extreme reactions to the slightest change, increased tension in all of my muscles especially my jaw, just to name a few.  During this time, effort may be required to conduct myself in a professional fashion during working hours.  I seem to loose interest in day to day conversations with friends and family.  My tolerance dips to an all time low, taking with it my level of energy.  Although I remain excited at the prospect of life and grateful to be an addict in recovery, I seem to tire more easily and require a little more time alone just to sit.  

It has been like this every year of my recovery.  Initially it started 60 days before my anniversary.  For the first several years the number of days seemed to slowly decrease, 45 days the second, 30 the third.  Slowly ebbing and flowing between 20 - 30 days for a few years.  The last several years the period of time is shorter but equally intense - 10 - 15 days.  I marvel at my inability to make it all go away, resisting at first the difference.  When resistance proves futile, I accept and embrace the strangeness as part of the process.  The acceptance releases the judgement, but doesn’t change the symptoms.  It persists.  Until, on the actual day of my anniversary it all seems to disappear with my morning glass of water.  Gone are the feelings bubbling just below the surface, my muscles release and the anxiety lifts from my shoulders leaving me feeling free and whole.   I can almost convince myself that the last 10 - 60 days didn’t happen, wasn’t for real, for I am me again - the me I have always been.  Recovery has taught me that is not true.  For I am always me, sometimes it’s just a little more challenging to be me.

Happy Anniversary to Me!!! 

Dentista, Comidas y Amistad

Saturday, February 28 - Sabado

Aura and I drive into Puerto Veijjo de Sarapiqui.  I want to visit a souvenir shop that is closing soon and find some raw almonds as the food delivery service failed to bring them today.  She needs to pick up some medication at the pharmacy for her husband.  The souvenir shop is closed, it seems they weren’t making enough money and we can’t find the almonds - despite going to three different grocery stores.  Aura picks up the medication and we stop for coffee and pastry.  It’s 6:00 p.m. and I’m drinking coffee.  

It’s Saturday night and it’s also pay day.  Most Costa Ricans get paid on the 15th and the last day of the month.  The streets are full of people, dressed up, hanging out.  Neither of us are dressed up as we are just running errands.  It’s funny to see people dressed up walking around the streets.  Family’s are having dinner at the local chicken shack, men gather for conversation and everyone just seems to be in a good mood.  We have our coffee and watch the buses come and go.  

On the way back we stop at the gas station.  The attendant tells Aura that she needs to have one of her tires fixed, there is a hole.  The tire repair shop is still open, we drive around to the back of a building off the main road and are greeted by 5 men.  It’s obvious they don’t see many gringa’s back here as everyone gathered on my side of the car to watch as I exited the vehicle.  I look around notice most of them are drinking beer and we are far from the main road, tucked in behind the gas station and a disco.  Before I can even exit the vehicle, the jack is placed underneath.  I suggest to Aura that she call Joaquin and let him know where we are.  She gives me a funny look.  I tell her we are far from the road and these guys are drinking beer - it would be a good idea if someone knows where we are.  She understands and calls Joaquin.  The man assisting us listens to the call and gives Aura the exact location so she can tell her husband.  When she hangs up she tells me it was a good idea.  I feel a little better.   The men keep looking and one of them is shirtless parading back and forth in front of me.  I find it a little amusing as well as perplexing that I am spending my Saturday night in old jeans, sneakers and a tank top at a tire repair shop.  I’m out of place and grateful that I remembered to bring my passport because I’m sure the police are going to notice my blonde hair and wonder what the heck a gringa is doing at a tire repair shop on a Saturday night.   

Thirty minutes and the equivalent of four dollars later, one tire is repaired another two are rotated and we are on our way back to Sueno Azul without incident.      

Thursday, February 26 - Jueves 

The Tour of Horquetas.  Today I accompanied Whitney and her 74 year old mother into the town of Horquetas.  I am looking forward to tasting soupa ollia de carne (meat soup).  I told Canello and Cokie that I really enjoyed my visit to their mother’s house and the food was delicious.  Both were very happy and Canello asked me if I wanted to try ollia de carne on my next visit.  I eagerly agreed.  

After a walk through the town, we arrive at Dona Mari’s.  This week she has prepared a wonderful feast.  None of us has to make our own tortilla - for which I am grateful.  She hands me a bowl and directs me to this huge pot of soup, instructing me to take one of each thing in the pot.  I fill my bowl with cabbage, yucca, meat, potato, sweet potato, a root vegetable and some more things I can’t identify.  She then adds in a few spoonfuls of seasoned white rice and throws a thick tortilla on top.  I take a seat and dig in.  The soup is amazing.  The taste is similar to corned beef and cabbage.  After the soup she gives me a maduro (stuffed green banana) and coffee.  The coffee has an amazing taste because it was prepared next to the wood burning fire.  

The children are there again along with another girl.  As soon as they see me, they are no longer shy.  Immediately they ask to have their picture taken.  We spend the time taking pictures, showing them their picture and conversing in Spanish to the best of our abilities.  They understand and speak English - but are hesitant to do so.  Again we leave, completely full and I promise to visit the following week.  

Wednesday, February 25 - Miercoles

Dia Libre!  My long awaited free day.  I have an appointment in Pacoris with Jacqualine at 10:00 a.m. for a much needed pedicure.  I desire peace, quiet and alone time almost as much as I desire a pedicure.  I am torn between a need to spend the day blissfully alone - not speaking with anyone or honoring the appointment which comes with the added benefit of a 45 minute drive and plenty of socialization.  I haven’t had a day off in two weeks.  My last free day was spent working in the morning and then driving to Guaplies with Lynda, one of the faculty and Aura.  Although it was fun - it was more socializing than I needed during a particularly challenging week of work.  

Before any decisions can be made, I need some exercise.  After sleeping in until 6:30 a.m., drinking plenty of Kangen water, I don my sneakers and head out for a solitary walk.  It is a beautiful day - one of those rare Costa Rica days that will alternate between sun and clouds, a little breeze and no rain.  The walk is fabulously uneventful.  Due to the difficulties with previous groups, I have made it abundantly clear to this weeks group that I am off today.  If they happen to see me, which I make a concerted effort to avoid, they have been asked to simply wave.  Conversations and questions can wait until Thursday morning. I manage to dodge most of them, timing my walk between their breakfast and meeting time with the additional precaution of using a circuitous route.  One which minimizes my exposure on the common walkways.  Before the walk I thought I would go to Pacoris.  After the walk I am not as certain.  I languish in my room, reviewing the decision while enjoying the peace and quiet of having the entire resort to myself.  Perhaps tea will help or a shower.  Still I am unable to arrive at a decision and the hour is growing late.  I dress in a light cotton tank dress and make my way to breakfast.  

Ah, the decision has been made for me, there is no way I can have breakfast, dress appropriately and leave on time.  I realize that I really want to have lunch with Aura at a nearby soda.  I cancel the plans with Sherri and Jacqualine and make plans with Aura for lunch at 12:30 p.m.  Adrian gives me the keys to his car and Sherri and Jacqualine offer to come to the resort on another day so I may have a pedicure with Jacqualine!  The morning passes amazingly fast.  I read, lay by the pool and then it’s time to dress for lunch with Aura.  

Despite the heat, I don pants and a t-shirt.  We hop in Adrian’s car and are off.  There is this amazing sense of freedom and liberation as soon as I drive over the first bridge.  I feel like I am having a “normal” day off - one that most people have - doing exactly what I want to do when I want to do it - it’s just in a country different from the one in which I legally reside. The soda I really want to try is full - every one of the 10 stools at this road side stand is taken.  We continue driving and decide to eat at a restaurant which serves soda type food before the entrance to Puerto Veijo de Sarapiqui.  

Sodas continue to amaze me.  It is Costa Rica’s answer to fast food - which isn’t fast at all.  Throughout the country you can stop at any one of these roadside stands and get a casado (literally four compartment meal) with a refrescos natural for under 2,300 colones (less than $ 5.00).  The main compartment of the meal is prepared fresh to order and the soda can be attached to a gas station, hardware store, someone’s house or occasionally a free standing structure.  I think you could live in the country for a year, drive from soda to soda each day and still not eat at all of them.  

After lunch, we stop for ice cream and head back to the hotel.  I spend the rest of the day lounging in the hotel, on my terrace, in my room.  Aura comes up for a visit at 5:00 p.m. - this is a rarity.  She has been drinking the kangen water for few weeks and has finally found a container for me to fill so she may also drink the water at home.  I have been walking back and forth from my room a couple of times per day, filling her 32 oz bottle - keeping her hydrated throughout the day.  

    

Tuesday, February 24 - Martes

Tour de Chocolate!  Yes a chocolate tour.   As delicious as it sounds.  We left the hotel at 9:00 a.m. - me and the three perisos (spanish word for sloth, my affectionate term for guests on Rest and Relaxation Retreat).  I was extremely excited, despite being tired.  Sitting in the front seat of the statix (Van) drinking in the Costa Rican country side, sipping green tea with the ambient sound of “getting to know you” polite conversation in English underscoring the journey.  Road trips, once arduous undertakings have become familiar, pleasant journeys.  Gone are the days when everything seemed so far away from the hotel.  Now each trip seems a little short - surely it must be farther - it used to seem so far, so unpleasant.  I’m sure the balmy temperate climate that is Costa Rica this year is a contributing factor.  

Upon arrival at Tarimbina, we meet our guide and join people from Germany and Switzerland for a tour given in English by a Costa Rican guide.  We are also accompanied by a Costa Rican film crew!  Once again, I will appear on Costa Rican television.  I seem to be the only person disturbed by the film crew.  This is my third time  being filmed for Costa Rican television.  I imagine I will become the face of tourism for North Americans in Central America.  Since this has taken place over the course of three years, I wonder if the Costa Rican nationals think I am a paid model.  Regardless, I find it annoying.  We hike over an 850 foot long suspension bridge.  The bridge is suspended over rain forest and the rushing waters of the Sarapiqui River.  About half way over the bridge it occurs to me that my keys are dangling from my pocket.  My hands are full with a camera and water bottle.  I pray the keys stay in their usual spot, and make a note to myself to tuck them safely in my pocket before trekking through the rain forest.  Once we are over the bridge, the guide reminds us not to touch anything during the walk.  After spending many years in this country, hiking through various rain forests, I have actually stopped touching things when I am outside - regardless of the country.  Todays warning pertains to the bullet ant.  A large ant that is common to the rainforest.  The bite is reported to be extremely painful.  I have seen the ant, the after effects of a bite and heard stories about the pain.  This is not something I need or want to experience first hand.  We hike through the rain forest along the banks of the Sarapiqui, dependent upon core strength for balance throughout inclines, declines, steps and turns.  After 30 minutes of hiking we arrive at a clearing with an outdoor pavilion. The incongruence of a structure while architecturally congruent takes my breath away .  I am simultaneously  amazed, impressed, in awe of the structures that seem to appear miraculously after a hike through the thick green lushness of nature, feeling remote and isolated from the world.  I marvel at the use of native materials, the simplicity of design and the functionality.  

The process of growing coco (cacao) beans and producing chocolate is fascinating.  This is a small, private, traditional plantation.  Traditional plantations are located within a mature forest near a river.  The mature trees provide the necessary shade for the smaller cacao trees.  The soil close to a river is rich and fertile due to years of the river overflowing and depositing sediment on top of the clay.    The guide explains the entire process, while demonstrating each step complete with tasty and interesting samples.  The cacao seeds are contained within the cacao fruit - which varies in size and color.  To harvest the seeds, traditionally the fruit is broken open by hitting it against the edge of a wooden stool.   Contained within are seeds with a thick milky textured covering.  Each of us sucks on a seed and then contribute them to the drying rack.  The seeds are left out in the open air for the bugs and insects to germinate while they dry.  The drying process takes 7 days.  We each sampled a dried bean.  Next the seeds are roasted and hand shelled.  Again, we sampled one of the roasted beans.   The shelled beans are ground by hand.  Once ground, traditionally sugar and cinnamon are added.   The ground substance is processed through a grinder producing a fabulous tasting and smelling cacao paste.  Boiling water is added to the cacao paste producing a delicious tasting chocolate drink.   In order to produce chocolate bars and candies, lecithin and cocao butter is added.  If milk chocolate is desired, milk is also added.  We sampled so much chocolate that is was difficult to eat lunch upon return to Sueno Azul.  This was defiantly the most informative and tastiest tour I have ever had the pleasure of taking. 

Saturday, February  21 - Domingo

I join Aura and Joaquin for a Saturday night as San Chi Cha’s.  Saturday nights are the big night out in Horquetas.   San Chi Cha gives me a hard time because it has been 14 days since my last visit.  According to him I need to come more often.  He has already harassed Joaquin and Aura on two previous occasions because they came without me.  He has offered to drive up and get me, whatever it takes.  According to him, if they are there, I should be there as well.  Dona Nice brings out a platter of pantacones before we can even order.  She knows they are my favorite.  

Thursday, February 19 - Jueves

Today the Rest and Relaxation group accompanies Diego on a tour of the Horquetas, the town in which Sueno Azul is located.  I accompany the group on the pretense of sampling the tour.  This year the tour includes a stop at a local house to prepare and sample Costa Rican food.  Dona Mari is our host and she is also Canello and Cokie’s mother.  Canello and Cokie are big guys so I’m pretty sure her cooking is fabulous.  

We walk into town, stopping along the way to learn about local plants and take some pictures.  We visit the Royka supermarket, elementary school and while we are on our way to the police station, one of the store owners offers to show us a Perizoso.  We walk through his property and view the sleeping blob in a tree.  Perizoso (sloths) are pretty inactive, so even though you get to see one - you usually don’t get to see more than their backside.  He continues to show us his property and we are joined by his two daughters.  We visit his Tilapia farm, wood working shop, pigs, turkeys, chickens and roosters.  The people are very friendly and proud to show you their way of life and possessions.  

We follow the scent of burning wood to Dona Mari’s.  She is all business, she greets us and immediately puts each of us to work.  After watching Dona Mari, I am instructed to make my own tortilla by gently flattening the wet ball mixture with one hand turning it with the other, while keeping the edge round and whole.  I misunderstand and push to hard, the edges of my tortilla start to fray.  Dona Mari insists I watch her again.  I do so, then I have to fix my tortilla.  I have difficulty getting the concept of gently, so when she isn’t looking, I call Diego over for assistance.  Diego finishes the process.   While I am learning the art of tortilla, Penny, one of the R&R guests, is making Costa Rican coffee the traditional way.  She is spooning boiling water from a pot into a suspended cotton sack filled with ground coffee.  The finished product drips out into waiting pot.  During all of this we are joined by her grandson and another child she looks after during the day.  After my tortilla is appropriately flattened, I require Dona Mari’s assistance to remove it from the wax paper and place it in a pan over the wood burning fire.  Each of us makes our own tortilla - all are round, some are thicker than others.  There is defiantly an art to this process.  The aroma of the wood burning fire, coffee and tortillas has wetted our appetites.   

The serving table is filled with delicious treats Dona Mari has prepared for our visit.  We feast on empanadas with frijoies con queso (a fried corn and flour shell filled with beans and cheese), natilla (Costa Rica’s version of sour cream - used with just about every kind of food), and a plate of fresh white cheese.  Taking a bite of a tortilla covered with natilla and filled with fresh white cheese is so satisfying, my eyes roll and I let out a little groan.  Dona Marti smiles.  I realize she doesn’t know who I am and no one has told her I am coming.   I tell her “Yo es Charrito” - she doesn’t speak or understand any English.  As soon as she hears “Charrito”, her face lights up.  I tell her how much I like her sons.  At first she speaks only of Canello and then she gets very animated and tells me how much Cokie speaks of me.  Cokie and I have a very special bond - he is truly a gentle soul and a pleasure to be around.  

Dona Mari continues to feed each of us until we are so full we cannot fit another bite.  In between the children, who are becoming less shy with each passing moment, take turns showing us the chickens, their eggs and the baby chickens - which are all within 5 feet of the wood burning stove and table of food.  We are also joined by various cats and dogs - none of which are really anyone’s pet - just local animals that seem to go from house to house.  When we are all satiated and find it difficult to move, she asks if I will come again.  I say “If you are cooking, I am coming, every week!”  This pleases her and she inquires about some other food, asking if I would like to try.  I tell her in perfect Spanish - that I like all Costa Rican food - forgetting momentarily about my intense dislike of tripe.  We agree to meet again next week and I’m excited about the possibilities.  Diego knew we wouldn’t be able to walk back to the hotel and he wisely made arrangements for Rodrigo to pick us up.  Each of us piles into the van, full and happy with our tour of Horquetas.       

Wednesday, February 18 - Mericoles

Today is my scheduled day off - but it’s not working out like that.  For some reason, I have a lot of work to do.  I meet with Federico, tie up some loose ends, make arrangements with Lynda to accompany me and Aura to Guaplies for my appointment, errands and dinner.  Lynda is one of Omega’s faculty and someone with whom I enjoy spending time.  We sit together every night and talk and I always look forward to the week she teaches.  It’s the closest I have come to having a friend visit me in Costa Rica.  

At 2:00 p.m. we get in the car and I drive to Guaplies.  The first stop is the orthodontist.  Aura is amazed at how well I know Guaplies and how easily I can find my way.  The orthodontist office is filled with children and teenagers - it’s standing room only.  I have a 3:00 p.m. appointment and we are on time, but it is doubtful that I will be seen in a timely fashion.  I complete the necessary forms, growing increasingly nervous.  I have no idea what braces entail, how much it will cost, if I can even stand the process of getting them put on, let alone living with them.  We try to ask the receptionist questions, but she just smiles (she has braces too) and assures us the Doctor will be able to help us.  We wait a while - Aura thinks I should get braces, Lynda doesn’t - then decide we are not going to be seen in a reasonable period of time and leave.  

We walk to the fabric store, to help Aura pick out fabric for new curtains.  I’m not a big fan of curtains, luckily Lynda, who is an artist and really good with color, is with us and assists Aura in making her decisions.  Sherri meets us for a quick visit.  We all walk to the shoe store, then the homeopathic store (it’s really a health food store).  While we are looking for book store, it occurs to me that I know where the pepia (cold coconut) vendor is.  I know Guaplies better than Aura and Sherri and head directly to the market where the coconuts are sold.  Unfortunately he is out of pepia’s - which I’ve asked for and have been understood in Spanish.  Apparently it’s been a bad year for coconuts - because I haven’t been able to purchase a pepia since I’ve been here.  Sherri leaves to go to school and we get back in the car and go to dinner.  

Dinner is fabulous - each of us orders exactly what we want.  Instead of a typical dish, I opt for Hawaiian Pizza, which I can even order in Spanish, as it is so close to English with the different parts of the word accented.  After dinner we drive to Mas por Menos for a little shopping.  Driving in Guaplies is like driving in a place where the rules of the road are unclear.  Dividing lines and directional street signs are non existent.  Fortunately I know the roads, which is little comfort to Lynda as it is dark and traffic is thick and fast.  Lynda does really well until we have to circle the store and pull out into oncoming traffic.  She doesn’t realize it’s a two lane one way street and let’s out a little scream as I pull into what I know is a lane.   Aura and I laugh and I explain the road to her.  It probably doesn’t help that I’ve already stated how much I dislike driving at night and I left my night time driving glasses in the United States.  

I pick up blackberries - excited to have a different fruit, only to find out later they are terribly bitter in this country.  Inedible alone and usually added to water or milk for a natural fruit drink.  After paying the “car watcher” (someone who watches your car and helps you back out into traffic) a few colones (less than a dollar) we are on our way back to the hotel.  For me, it was a very successful and satisfying day - I spoke Spanish with the locals and they all understood me - a huge improvement from three years ago in the same town.   

Tuesday, February  17 - Martes

Today I accompanied Adrian and his friend Grabien on their trip to the dentist in Guaplies.  I’m interested in getting braces, because my teeth seem to be getting a little more crowded and out of alignment as I age.  Costa Rica is known for their affordable cosmetic procedures so I might as well take advantage of these opportunities.  Plus, Adrian’s dentist speaks English.  We arrive at the dental clinic in Guaplies - it’s very clean, comfortable and not at all like any clinic I have ever seen in the United States.  Costa Rica is the land of uniforms and everyone from school children to technology employees sports a uniform.  Adrian and Grabien enter into the dental room together, leaving me in the open air waiting room.  I am accompanied by two Costa Rican women and a couple of children.  I settle in to reading a book.  Another Costa Rican woman enters and after a few minutes of waiting - the dental assistants are busy in the room with the doctor’s and patients - she begins speaking in Spanish to me from across the room.  I hesitate to look up because surely she can’t be speaking to me.  I am obviously American and there are two other Costa Rican women here who must know more than me.  As I look up, she is walking towards me - still speaking.  I feebly say  “I don’t understand” in Spanish.  She gives me a strange, but friendly look, continues to stand next to me and asks her question to one of the other women.  I understand the answer, and realize the woman hasn’t really answered her question, but I can’t explain it in Spanish.  A few minutes pass and she’s still standing next to me.  She looks at me and says in Spanish “ So, you don’t speak Spanish?”.  I look up, bashfully and say in Spanish “A little bit”.  She say’s in perfect, clear English “You should really learn.”  I look at her with wide eyes and say “Yes, I know.  I have tried.  I know a lot of words, but my accent, intonation and grammar are bad.”  She spends the rest of the time talking to me.     Her name is Flora, she is from Limon and teaches English.  When I compliment her on her English, which is the most clear, perfect, grammatically correct English I have ever heard in this country - she explains that she is not a native speaker so it is not that good.  As we talk, I realize that I am thrilled to have this slice of Costa Rican life.  My experience here is always fun and entertaining, but someone surreal in that it usually involves some aspect of tourism, dining or entertainment.  All of which are fabulous, but somewhat removed from daily existence.  This conversation with Flora in the dental clinic is different and for the first time I get a glimpse of how easy it is to live in another country.  Flora encourages me to practice my Spanish. There is something about the way she says this, her honesty and openness.  Her simple statement hits home, she has managed to convince me that perhaps with a little practice, I could speak Spanish well enough to be understood by others.  

Adrian and Grabien emerge and it’s my turn.  I enter the office and the dentist is fabulous.  She checks my teeth and tells me that she can refer me to the orthodontist who is in town once a week.  She explains that before I receive braces, I’ll need a cleaning and shows me the tarter build up.  I agree to the cleaning as long as she’ll do it .  She tells me when she’s there and sends me on my way.  

The assistants make and appointment for me with orthodontist for the next day and Adrian offers his vehicle.  So now I have an appointment in Guaplies at 3:00 p.m. on my day off!