New Beginnings

Thursday, March 12 - Jueves

I woke up with relatively straight hair.  I’m absolutely amazed.  Straight hair and I have a friend here.   It feels so good to have a friend here.  I taught an amazing class, despite the lack of sleep and waited for JoElla at breakfast.  We spent the day giving each other little gifts and catching up.  She brought me some amazingly thoughtful things.  I did remember that about her - it’s much better not to ask her for anything, because the things she brings on her own are so fabulous.  All were greatly appreciated - like miso soup packets, wonderfully scented soap, a natural sponge, loofa, sage, music CD’s.  All fabulous things.  I left her a couple of magazines about the area, a fantastic book I just finished reading and information necessary to assist me throughout the week.  

San Jose

Wednesday, March 11 - Miercoles

 Aura, Rodrigo and I left the hotel at 2:30 p.m. on Wednesday, March 11.  We were on our way to pick up JoElla in San Jose after her arrival at 8:45 p.m.  We needed to make a few stops along the way.  First, we stopped in Rio Frio so I could get a haircut.  As I mentioned the self bang trimming was not very successful,  I really needed a professional trim before the start of my workshop.  Since we were already traveling today was the perfect day to squeeze in a haircut.  Aura called earlier in the morning to make an afternoon appointment.  After entering the main area of Rio Frio, we drove down a few residential streets to a narrow dirt road with houses on both sides that were extremely close to the road.  As the road became even more narrow, we eased to a stop in front of a house.   The hair salon consisted of the front room in the hairdresser’s house.  

Aura accompanied me into the house, where the hair stylist and her friend were waiting.  After a quick introduction, Aura spoke on my behalf, explaining I only wanted a trim and that although I didn’t speak Spanish, I understood Spanish.  I was grateful for the introduction as well as the language explanation.  Since my hair was already clean, we proceeded directly to the chair.  I spent most of my time, smiling and listening.  Aura did all of the talking.  After cutting my hair, the stylist managed to blow dry it straight without the aid of any product.  Just a blow dryer and a brush and my hair was completely straight despite the rain and humidity.  She finished the look with a little silicone gel.  3,000 colones ($6.00) later I returned to the van.    Aura and Rodrigo loved the new look and couldn’t believe the difference.  I couldn’t believe it was still straight, even after I left her house and returned to the van.  We stopped at a panaderia (bakery), purchased a couple of cookies and a bread snack and continued to San Jose.   I planned to find a cute restaurant in a busy city area where we could kick back, relax and enjoy while people watching.  Rodrigo had a plan of his own.   

We made it through the National Park and into San Jose by 4:30 p.m.  As we proceeded through the streets of San Jose,  I learned that Rodrigo used to be employed as a chauffeur for bank  executives.  During this time he was married, lived in the San Jose area and had a daughter.  I only know Rodrigo as the driver for Sueno Azul who lives nearby in this beautiful house with his mother.  I was a little taken back to hear of his previous life.  As he was enjoying this trip down memory lane, he pointed out the bank and other various locations that were an important part of his life.   I asked him which job he preferred, driving tourist or driving executives of the Bank.  He clearly stated he preferred working for the bank.  Rodrigo does such a fabulous job at the resort, always with a smile and wonderful disposition, I never would have guessed he had another job he would have preferred.  I appreciated his honesty and wondered what happened that made his life change so dramatically.  

By this time Aura and I were in need of a bathroom.  Since Aura prefers not to use public toilets, she called her mother-in-law and asked if we could stop at her house.  She lovingly agreed and was unlocking the gate to her property across from the new mall as we turned the corner.  The architecture of Joaquins mother’s house was stunning.  Truly a wonderfully designed city house with access to a private green area in the back.  I sat with Joaquin’s mother while Aura ran immediately to the bathroom.  She spoke slowly in Spanish about the earthquake earlier today.  Saying she felt it, that it was very strong (6.3 on the Richter scale).  All of the roads in San Jose were fine, most of the damage occurred further South.  I simply smiled and tried to convey that we didn’t feel it at Sueno Azul.  When Aura returned from the bathroom, she translated my Spanish to real Spanish.  We visited for a short period of time, while Rodrigo circled the block.   

After the appropriate amount of visiting time, we returned to the vehicle.  Rodrigo proceeded to drive out of the city limits.  It seemed he had a plan of his own.  As we drove further away from the city, up a twisting hill, I grew more and more confused.  I knew we were driving away from the airport and from the possible thriving downtown area I was hoping to find.  I love being in another country and learning about the country.  In my current capacity I encounter tourists and Costa Rican’s on vacation - it’s an artificial environment. I was looking forward to observing Costa Rican’s in their daily environment as well as practicing my Spanish in the real Costa Rica.  As my face revealed my confusion, Aura took the opportunity to explain that Rodrigo wanted to show us this restaurant that overlooked the city.  Although I appreciated Rodrigo’s enthusiasm and planning, my disappointed grew with each curve up the steep hill as the opportunity to interact with locals in a thriving downtown environment receded.  The drive was exceedingly long.  Finally we arrived at a fancy restaurant on a hill top.  Rodrigo was uncharacteristically excited as he lead the way up the steps.  I tried to contain my disappointment at not sampling the authentic Costa Rican daily life.  This is clearly a high end restaurant, with the waiters in white button down shirts, black pants and the white towel over their arms.  It seems tonight is a special night - with a $ 45 dollar fee for dancing and buffet - starting at 7:00 p.m. - 10:00 pm.  Since we are least an hour from the airport we would only be able to stay for 30 - 45 minutes of the event.  Rodrigo took us here to show us the view and have a coffee.  We sat at a table by the window overlooking the valley containing the city of San Jose, province of Heredia, the national park and even the province of Sarrapiqui in the distance.  The view was beautiful and it was obvious that Rodrigo was reliving part of his past, as well as sharing something special to him with us.  We each ordered a coffee and sat and talked.  We watched the day give way to night as the lights in the valley sparkeled. 

After coffee we returned to the vehicle for the long drive down the hill in search of a restaurant.  Of course Aura and Rodrigo couldn’t think of one and I was determined to find a cute place to eat.  My cute restaurant quest was cut short by the late hour and we ended up at a roadside soda/restaurant near the airport.  As soon as we ordered, both Aura and Rodrigo recalled better places to eat - but it was too late.  The food was marginal, the company was great.  Off to the airport to meet JoElla.  We arrived at 9:00 p.m. and searched for her.  I haven’t seen JoElla since 2003 and realized as I arrived at the airport that I had no idea what she looked like.  The last time I saw her, her hair was really short.  Aura asked me what she looked like and I really couldn’t explain.  We simply searched.  Walking back and forth and finally settled on staring in through the glass.  In Costa Rica you cannot enter the airport unless you are traveling.  All pickups and meetings are curbside.  I watched intently for anyone who looked remotely familiar.  I was grateful no one offered me a taxi, taking it as a sign I am blending in - as best I can with my blonde hair.  Finally after 20 minutes, I see her walk.  Yes, of all things, I remembered her walk.  Her hair was a little longer  with a curl and pulled up off her face - then I saw the eyes at exactly the same time she saw me.  I ran over to the opening and of course screamed with excitement as soon as she cleared the doorway.  We hugged each other for an extended period of time, causing Aura and Rodrigo to turn away.  When we finished, I introduced her Aura and Rodrigo who were both blushing at this point.  

Off to the van and our hour and half ride back to Sueno Azul.  The entire ride was filled with two different conversations in two different languages.  Aura and Rodrigo conversing in Spanish in the front seats while  JoElla and I caught up on the past 6 years in English in the second seat. We arrived at the hotel around 11:30 p.m. and JoElla insisted on taking her own bags to her room, despite the night guards best efforts.  She gave me a huge container of Rice protein powder, something I cannot get in this country and greatly missed.  We immediately filled her water bottle - she has also been drinking alkaline water and agreed to meet in the morning.  

6.3

We are fine.  The effects of yesterday's earthquake were not felt in this region.  

Return to Grace

Tuesday, March 10 - Martes

The rain has abated!  Yes, it finally stopped raining sometime today.  The day vacillated  between clouds, a few rays of sun, heavy overcast, light rain, cool temps finally giving way to a partially cloudy sky and warmer temps.  As day turned to evening, I was able to see the beauty of the full moon.  It is absolutely breathtaking tonight.  One that I just want to sit and watch.  I tried taking pictures of it, but I don’t have the right camera.  The moon is so bright, I was told you actually need a high shutter speed.  

It was a pleasure to leave my room in a t-shirt and flip flops this evening.  I headed to the Rodeo in my red cowboy hat from Santa Fe.  Happy and grateful to be wearing less clothing than I have been able to in recent weeks.  The rodeo was actually fun - yelling and screaming for Cokie to win various prizes.  He doesn’t seem to win, perhaps because Adrian and Federico know I am biased.  All of us managed to have a good time this evening.  

I was able to admire the beauty of the moon reflecting off the relatively calm river and the way it’s light brightens the entire resort.  I am actually sitting outside on my terrace writing this by moonlight.  

Tomorrow is a big day, Federico has approved my plan of picking JoElla up at the airport.  On the way to the airport we are going to stop in Rio Frio so I can get a haircut.  I have actually messed up the bangs so badly by cutting them myself that I need some professional assistance.  After which we will drive to San Jose, have a little dinner, shop, drink coffee and just relax.  Taking in the beauty of a city.  Then, we pick up JoElla and return to the beauty that is Sueno Azul.  Oh, but before all of this, I will bask in the warmth of the sun, celebrating it’s timely appearance on my day off.   

Monday, March 9 - Lunes

The sun retreated around 2:00 p.m., making way for the rain to return at 7:00 p.m. on Saturday.  I have made peace with the weather, although I still do not like it.  I’ve relinquished the shorts and sandals until the sun returns.  Each night I go to bed thinking “tomorrow is sun”, and each morning I wake to rain.  I’ve given up trying to wear lighter yoga pants - donning my long hyde yoga pants, a jacket, socks and sneakers for the short walk to the yoga studio.  I usually end up teaching in my jacket and putting my socks on while the class rests in savasana.  Not my preferred method of teaching, but one that keeps me warm.  

I have a friend coming to visit and work!  Actually I have two friends coming this week and one coming in a couple of weeks.  Its the season of friendship.  My friend, JoElla, from San Diego will arrive on Wednesday for an 11 day visit.  I’ve managed to arrange a little fiesta to ease her transition.  The staff of Sueno is not accustomed to me having friends visit and I’d like to make it easy for everyone involved.  On Wednesday Rodrigo, Aura and I will leave Sueno in the afternoon, drive to San Jose and have a festive dinner, relaxing, chatting and possibly enjoying warm weather.  After which we’ll pick JoElla up at the airport around 9:00 p.m. and drive back to the resort together.  It’s a nice introduction for Aura and Rodrigo, a great welcome for JoElla and a fabulous way for me to spend a few hours outside of the resort on my day off.  I met JoElla at Forrest Yoga Teacher Training in 2001.  We practiced side by side for most of the 30 day training, grunting, groaning, crying and smiling.  We managed to keep in touch since, despite the fact that the last time I actually saw her was in 2004.   I‘m hoping we recognize each other at the airport.  

Monique, my other friend, will be much easier to recognize as I just saw her in August.  Monique and I are co-teaching a workshop entitled “Relax, Renew, Restore”.  She’ll arrive on Saturday for our week long workshop.  It will be good to see her as well.  I love spending time with Monique, co-teaching is a special treat.  This week, my capacity changes - I become the workshop leader while JoElla steps in to teach the morning yoga classes and serve as the on-sight representative.  She gets all of the questions!  

I’ll return to my usual role for another week on March 21.  After which, Eva arrives.  I also met Eva at the Forrest Yoga Teacher Training in 2001.  We became fast friends, when she opened her home to me after September 11 of the same year.  I’ve seen Eva many times since then - Chicago, NYC, Connecticut.  Our most recent reunion was in December of 2007 - we spent 7 days in a Forrest Yoga Continuing Education class.  Eva will assume the role of daily yoga instructor and on-sight representative while I teach The 12-Steps of Yoga ® workshop.  It will be great to see her again and have her unwavering support while I’m teaching.  

I’ll remain in Costa Rica until April 11, squeezing a three day trip in with Aura.  We’re not sure where we are going, but we’re going somewhere.  The next few weeks promise to be very busy.  I’m looking forward to the changes and the friends.  

El Sol

March 7, Saturday - Sabado

I reluctantly emerge from my bed after a chilly, fitful night of sleep.  The rain has stopped.  The chill persists despite the garbage bag covered window; bedspread, towel, pashmina and sarong covered bed.  Upon exiting the shower, covered in two bath towels, I place and even larger thicker pool towel over my shoulders as I prepare to exit the room.  Upon exiting, I notice that although it is still chilly - I am dressed in socks, pants, a tank top tucked into the pants covered with a long sleeved shirt - it is warmer than previous days and certainly warmer than my room.  I reach the lobby at 8:15 a.m. unable to hide my feelings.  The dreariness of the rain has gotten to me.  My posture is slumped and my morning greetings are as damp as the covered walkways.  I realize my forced smile isn’t  fooling any of the staff and proceed to my office to deposit my backpack.  Hoping that in shedding the pack, I will regain my composure.  Today is transition - this weeks guest leave and next weeks guests arrive.  A challenge on a good day, dreadful on one like today.  I walk to the from desk, noticing that the guest luggage is obviously missing.  It’s 8:15 a.m., they are scheduled to depart at 8:45 a.m. - where is the luggage.  As I am attempting to communicate with Rodrigo at the front desk, Luc hands me the phone.  Under normal circumstances I can easily handle the halting Spanish conversation that occurs between Rodrigo and I while speaking in English to Federico (for he is on the phone) and preparing to speak some semblance of English/Spanish to Luc.  Today, however, proves not to be a normal day.  The staff has already scattered in search of the missing luggage.  Rodrigo’s needs seem to be more urgent than usual and I can’t understand him because my brain is trying to process why Federico is calling me and already preparing for the challenging conversation with Luc.  As Federico speaks, I realize what Rodrigo wants and motion for a pen and the transportation list so I may cross off the names of the guests who left early as a result of the weather.  For they will not be on today’s shuttle - they are already  in their homes having fled at 4:00 a.m. on Friday fearful that rain would prevent a timely exit today.  Federico wants to ensure that I have informed the guests that this weather is highly unusual.  “How are the guests?  Do they know this weather is not usual?  Are they complaining?  Did you tell them this weather is unusual?  It never rains for an entire week in March.  Did you tell them?”.  I am overwhelmed, I can only manage “Yes, of course I told them.  They know.  Of course they know, for I don’t have the right clothes and I have been cold - they know.”  My usual enthusiasm is noticeably absent and I can’t manage any more of a reassurance.  I feel badly.  Federico counters with “Charrito, you are a beautiful girl.”  Despite my perceived inability to reassure him, he is reassured as I can hear the smile in his voice.  I hang up, finish with Rodrigo, attempt to communicate with Luc.  When she misunderstands me - which is often and is always annoying as she works the front desk and never seems to understand anyone on the first attempt - the experiences of the entire week seem to slam into my body.  Before I realize what is happening, tears escape my eyes and my posture slumps even further.  I feel crushed beneath the weight of the rain, cold, questions, anger, fear, uncertainty and demands that comprised this week.  The tears just come, lightly.  Everyone freezes, not sure what to do.  Rodrigo appears embarrassed.  Luc just stands there eyes wide, mouth open.  I attempt to regain composure.  Miraculously Luc manages to understand my next question.  The tears stop, I learn the guests have checked out and the luggage is being picked up.  I head towards the restaurant stopping at the bathroom to compose myself further before facing the departing guests.  Before I can even walk over the threshold of the bathroom, one of the guests starts waving from the restaurant as if she is in dire need of help.  What could possibly be so important that she is chasing me down at the bathroom?  Can’t I just use the bathroom?  Why is she running towards me?  I pause while she explains her urgent issue.  It seems one of the staff has given her a bottle of salsa and she would like to tip the staff member, but the staff member is not working today.  Honestly, this guest is in a panic over this.  I calmly tell her it’s fine, I will take the tip and pass it along.  She continues to talk about her panic, wanting to launch into a long unnecessary conversation.  My normal tolerance, patience and understanding are drenched with rain solidified with the chill, I cannot offer my usual unwavering support.  I simply smile and excuse myself, pointing at the bathroom.  Now instead of splashing water on my face, which was my original intention, I walk into a stall close the door and cry some more, wondering how this became my life.  

As I enter the restaurant and overhear the guest conversation, the content of which makes me realize that I cannot join their table this morning.  I am barely holding it together.  Inane, non sensical, and violent conversation will only serve to push me over the edge.  I gather my breakfast from the buffet and walk into the bar area on the pretense of needing something from the staff.  When my appearance no longer attracts attention I proceed to the terrace and stand watching the river while I eat my breakfast.  After a few minutes, I realize the din of conversation has been replaced with silence.  I turn, walk back and gratefully realize the guests have migrated to the lobby - for they realize it’s time to go.  This is such a huge relief, as I do not have gather them and give them bathroom reminders as I do every day of the week.  I join them in the lobby and facilitate their boarding of the shuttle with hugs and kind words.  I board the shuttle and ask for room keys they may have forgotten to turn in at checkout, gather those and make my final departing announcement.   I disembark and send them on their way.  As the shuttle leaves the property, individual clouds start to form in the sky, allowing the sun to break through.  

I remove the long sleeve shirt, replace the socks and sneakers with sandals, grab a chair and walk into the driveway.  The sun can be fleeting after so much rain, so I don’t want to risk missing a moment of warmth by changing into shorts.  I sit in the driveway for 20 minutes, taking in the sun.  As it warms, the sky begins to open to puffy clouds and I realize I may get a couple of hours of sun.  I go to the pool for 30 minutes - still dressed.  Returning the the lobby to perform the same departure ritual for the second shuttle at 11:00 a.m.  The sun is still shining.  I change into a bathing suit, grab a book and spend two uninterrupted at the pool, letting the sun warm my body and my soul, renewing my tolerance, patience and enthusiasm while restoring the authenticity of my smile.    

Chill

 I took a 20 minute nap today.  Fell asleep fully dressed in several layers covered with a polyester sarong and wool pashmina.  When I woke my nose was cold.  The rain continues and the wind causes the curtains to blow - letting in damp, chilly air.   I’ve had enough of being cold.  Suddenly is occurs to me that as the Omega Representative, I have access to resources.  I quickly put on my shoes and walk down to reception, slipping on the damp sidewalks beneath covered walkways with the sound of beating rain a constant companion.  I gather two large trash bags from the laundry room, push pins and a pair of scissors from my office.  I return to my room, careful not to slip on the damp concrete in my excitement.  After a few minutes the large screen window is completely covered in black plastic trash bags underneath the curtains.  The curtains have stopped billowing from the wind and the room feels warmer.   Perhaps it is a result of the physical labor involved in covering the window,  although I am hoping it’s the plastic preventing some of the wind from entering and retaining the heat generated from my body.  

I left the warmth of my room to give a couple of Reiki sessions, closing the bathroom door and leaving the lights on in the hope this will generate some heat.  It is so windy tonight I pass fallen trees as I return to my room post Reiki and dinner.  The ground is saturated, causing the relentless rain to form abundant streams, the color of coffee with milk.  Newly formed trenches serve as a border to the outside of my room. The pilot light for the hot water heater cannot retain it’s spark, depriving us of hot water at a time when it’s most needed.  I have been bathed in chilliness since October despite my Southern locations.  I crave warmth, heat, the comfort of wearing little clothing while feeling warm.  As I open the door to my room, I feel warmth.  I pause, giddy with the feel of it.  Then, just in case, I quickly shut the door, not wanting of any this new found warmth to escape.  For this is the first time in many days it is actually warmer in my room than outside.   

  

Silence

It’s raining.  Correction - it is still raining.  It has been raining since I finished orientation on Sunday morning at 10:00 a.m.  As I write this it’s Wednesday at 5:00 p.m.  I am once again in multiple layers.  Aura felt badly for me and brought a pair of warmer pants in from her home for me to wear.  I have on a navy baseball hat, white long sleeve shirt, olive green sweatshirt with hood over the hat, purple pashmina, light blue and red scarf, Aura’s light blue sweatpants, an orange sarong wrapped over the pants, and white socks!  My feet are still cold.  I’m safely ensconced in my room, shades drawn, bathroom door closed (I closed it, so no fear of caiman) attempting to keep the warmth in.  All of the lights are on in an effort to create warmth or at least the illusion of warmth.  

It is my day off and I have succeeded in not talking, with the exception of wants and needs like food, pedicure, deep conditioning hair treatment and massage!  I made it all the way to breakfast without speaking to one person.  I ordered breakfast and sat quietly in the darkest part of the bar hiding from several guests who are unexpectedly in the restaurant at 9:15 a.m.  They must have decided to forego the full day excursion due to rain.  After a satisfying and peaceful meal, the first one I have had the pleasure of consuming without conversation since January 31, I walked back to my room.  In silence, the walk was beautiful.  It’s the same walk I make several times a day for water, rest, meals.  This morning, in silence it was a totally different walk.  I had the wherewithal to take in the beauty of the walkway, trees, plants, sound of the rain and renew my appreciation for the beauty of Sueno Azul.  It’s interesting how I can work and live in some of the beautiful places and not be able to fully appreciate the beauty on a regular basis.  Despite the best intentions I still get bogged down in the day to day existence, the doing instead of being, the to be done instead of being, the already done instead of being.  I get glimpses of this in Florida as well.  Some days my morning walk is filled with the wonderful beauty of Clearwater Beach, others is just another thing to do before I do the next thing.  Such a waste, this doing, already done, have to get done.  Being is so much more pleasurable and in the process the doing is also accomplished.  

Now the guests are restless.  They choose to return early and have been wondering the hotel, resting in their rooms since 2:00 p.m.  The next scheduled entertainment/event is at 7:00 p.m.  In order to block out their chatter, I have donned headphones and am blissfully listening to Cher while drinking tea.  I spend most of my time without any artificial background noise.  Sometimes the noise in my head is enough and sometimes I can actually hear the sounds of nature.  Since it’s my day off and I’m not speaking to anyone, I’m indulging in music. 

Usually when I return to the States after Costa Rica I am totally exhausted, depleted, in need of sleep, silence and food.  I have to adjust to lights, noise, planning meals, feeding myself and being back in touch.  For the first few years I was fortunate to have a friend take me in.  RoseAnn totally understood.  She would pick me up at the airport and we would catch up the whole way to her house stopping for our indulgent meal of much appreciated McDonalds and a Starbucks coffee.  The next 3 - 4 days were totally planned for me.  All I had to do was get up and go to sleep.  I think she even told me when to shower, as I was useless.  RoseAnn would prepare the coffee, meals, and plan our days.  She would tell me over coffee what I needed to know to get through the first hours and as I adjusted, the day.  I never understood how she knew, she just did.  I will always appreciate her for that.  I miss those days.  Last year she was in New York, I was homeless and my Mother was on vacation in Florida.  I spent a week with my mother - finding myself under the glaring florescent lights of CVS within 12 hours of landing in the US, looking for drinking water.  This year I’m no longer homeless, RoseAnn will be on her way to New York, Mom will be working and I’ll be on my own that first morning.  I think I’m finally able to handle it.  Probably not as well as RoseAnn did, certainly not as terrible as being in CVS looking for water at 9:00 a.m., somewhere in between.   I’ll have the Kangen water filtration machine hooked up as soon as I get home, solving the water issue.  I’ll travel with tea and organic snacks from Costa Rica so I can safely navigate the first 24 hours without having to leave my house.  

Perhaps, this year I’ll also be better prepared.  I figured out today one of the things I miss most about living outside of an all inclusive resort is the ability to have breakfast before I brush my teeth.  Such a simple thing that really encapsulates the resort lifestyle.  Most of us have down time throughout any given day when we don’t have to look our best or be on our best behavior.  Living and working in a resort doesn’t provide for that.  The moment I open the door to my room I become public property.  I can’t just run to the kitchen for a snack in my pj’s and slippers (oh, I wish I had some slippers), go check the internet for email without possibly seeing one of my guests or a member of the staff.  One of the biggest thrills about my day off is I actually get to stay in my room until I’m ready to leave.  I can use the bathroom, relax, use the bathroom, drink tea, use the bathroom, all before leaving the room.  All of the other days I have to be out of the room by 6:30 a.m. to practice yoga before teaching.  Teeth brushed!